why some people constantly do things that annoyed other people purposely?

My housemate, she constantly tried to annoy people with every single things she does. But, I dont really understand her, she is sometime can be really quiet. She talk with my other housemate like normally, but shes kinda not talking to me. Or when she does, she kinda hav that anxious intonation. When, we having nice time together, she just suddenly stopped having fun and try to escape and being alone.

We all agreed to share on food expenses and just cook at home. But, she refused to cook. Then, we agreed on her to do some house chores. But, at first few weeks, she did not do any house chores, until the toilet turn mouldy and we ask her why she did not do it. She just said she forget and smile. Then, because she had part time job outside, she did not eat with us all the time. She always be the last one to eat the meal. So, we expected for her to clean the meal dish. Its not even a lot of to do. Just the rice cooker pot and pan. But, after the toilet things been raise, she did not wash them. and left them like that with a little of food left. I dont think shes a lazy girl because her room are so tidy. But, then we try to discuss with her about it. She just like alright. And be quiet. I dont know if she mad, because she does not show any mad facial gesture or whatsoever. After that, she been clean up everything though shes not eating. Its like, she acted she did not get what we mean and trying to constantly making us angry to her.

4 Answers

  • 10 years ago
    Favourite answer

    Many issues. 1. It is possible that she is annoying others and is not aware of it, we all do things, (even you and me) that annoy other people. It might benefit you to tell her she is annoying you, she can't fix a problem she is not aware of. In life, if someone is doing something wrong, you have to tell them they are doing wrong, and then give them a chance to correct it. 2. Being quiet is not a crime. It is possible that she has known your other housemate longer, or maybe for some reason has more in common with that person, so she feels more comfortable talking to that person, than she does talking to you. It almost makes me wonder if for some reason you remind her of someone who hurt her. Since you mention you seem to be making her nervous, or she retreats when you think you are having a good time, that might suggest to me that something you are saying or doing offends her, or that maybe you remind her of a person who hurt her. 3. Maybe her mother never taught her to cook, maybe she is not a good cook. Just because you are a female, doesn't mean you know how to cook, or that you are a good cook, or that you like to cook. Well maybe you all need to have a house meeting and go over the rules of the house again. Maybe you need to have a schedule and it rotates. So maybe each person takes a turn cleaning the bathroom, each person takes a turn doing cooking, each person takes a turn doing the dishes. If you don't want to do your turn with the cooking, you can trade with someone else. When I was in Basic Training in the Air Force, we had chores to do also, but we traded chores with each other. I shined other girls boots and other girls did my ironing, and other girls cleaned the bathrooms, we just traded chores so we could to the chores we wanted to do, and didn't have to do the chores we didn't want to do. Maybe since she has a job, she could pay someone else to do her turn at the chores. It is possible that her mother never showed her how to clean a toilet. I can tell you I have met a lot of people in my life who don't know how to clean a toilet. Maybe you all need to show her how to clean a house. I wonder if she came from an abusive home, it sounds like it. Have a house meeting, ask her for solutions so she doesn't feel like you all are ganging up on her. Come up with a schedule, come up with a plan, come up with a solution, but be careful that she doesn't think you all are attacking her. Ask her for the solutions so you don't all have to live in a dirty house. If you come up with a schedule and she still doesn't do her share, it might be best to find another roommate. I would like to say......having lived with my share of roommates. I would rather clean up after a messy roommate, than deal with a roommate that drinks and has tons of boyfriends sleeping over and the boyfriend and his friends eat all the food I buy. Sometimes you have to learn to pick your battles. I would rather clean up the toilet and clean up the dishes if she is a quiet person, it sounds like that would be a better deal. Your next roommate might be a nightmare, so be careful.

  • 4 years ago

    he isn't any longer accurate contained in the great. U on the different hand want ur head examined to ascertain why ur nevertheless with this abusive j/ok. i comprehend my solutions harsh even though it has to b to get ur interest and wake u as a lot because the actual actuality. go away him now for ur personal psychological well being.

  • 10 years ago

    Oh please don't listen to the comment above..!! Not everybody's English is perfect!

    As for you, I don't think your mate is doing this on purpose. If you feel uncomfortable about her, the best thing to do before it gets worse is just "talk to her." Speaking with someone in a friendly manner solves MANY problems in our lives.

    Hope this helps.

    Source(s): My own experiences =)
  • ..
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    Maybe she is crazy because your English is terrible. Awful grammar ! Perhaps she thinks you are uneducated ?

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