Women - Has a male co worker ever suggested that you stick your hand down his trousers?

If they did, would you laugh it off as a bit of banter or would you report them to HR

Men - Have you ever suggested a female co worker stick their hand down your trousers? If you have what was their reaction? Did they laugh it off or report you to HR? If you haven't suggested this why haven't you?

Just trying to understand why people think what Andy Gray did was acceptable.


Big Willy - I think YM's answer explains why it isn't a storm in a teacup. Sexism is not a victimless crime.

Update 2:

Omstarts - I agree with you to a point, for my sins I worked at Asda during my time as a student and had much the same kind of banter. Didn't quite go as far as grabbing bits of my body or suggestions of that. And that was in the late 1980's - Not sure when you were at Superdrug but I would like to think we have moved on since then.

In relation to the media attention surrounding Sian Massey, you may argue that it due to the media attention that Sian Massey was withdrawn from the Crewe game and you would be right. However but for the actions (or in this case words) of Andy Gray and Richard Keys it wouldn't be even close to the media radar - it wasn't the first time she had ran the line in the Premiership

14 Answers

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago
    Favourite answer

    I was sexually harrassed by customers when I was working as a fitness instructor, and one of the male fitness instructors even assaulted me by grabbing my leg and unhooking my bra. He would also make disgusating sexual comments. The male boss just expected me to put up with it. I became so depressed that I could no longer smile or be cheerful at work, and for that my boss fired me, while doing nothing about the man who assaulted me. I was only 20 at the time, so I didn't know what to do about it. Nowadays I would make a formal complaint, to the poilice if necessary.

  • 10 years ago

    Only with a female colleague I was having a fling with before she started working at the same bar as me, and she was one hell of a flirt. She has a great sense of humour, banter and we are still good friends.

    In that job though I was harrassed by an older more senior male. There is a huge difference between the banter of two people that know eachother well and someone in a senior position trying to sexually manipulate people. It's a very nasty feeling having someone higher in the chain of authority make sexual advances on you and this in a way woke me up to why sexual harrasment is a horrible thing to deal with. I spent many days wondering what I should do, I wanted it solved without making a fuss, then one night enough was enough and when he made an advance I used physical intimidation to solve the problem.

  • ....
    Lv 5
    10 years ago

    It does depend, there are people who you are obviously closer to at work than others and they get to make more jokey comments. Where I most recently worked one of my colleagues had a joke about me raping my boyfriend, but that was a joke, between the two of us and we get on well, we still chat even though I have left there. On the other hand if its a colleague that you dont have a rapour with then it could make you feel uncomfortable.

    I work in restaurants where in the kitchen anything is said but a lot of the time its banter - we all work long hours, so are with each other more than friends and family, and have to keep communication open between the restaurant and the kitchen.

    Yes sometimes someone can go too far, but I am not backwards in coming forwards with telling them that. As for HR department? WTF is that??? The closest there is to HR is going out the back for a cig and having a ***** about the customers lol

  • 10 years ago

    No. However, I recall an incident when a male colleague and good friend (!), who was standing behind me, tried to put his hand down the front of my dress while I was conversing with him and another male colleague. I cannot recall the conversation, but I remember my shock as I pushed his hand away and I can still see the utter disbelief on the face of the colleague who witnessed the incident.

    It was a long time ago and it did not occur to me to report the incident to HR. I am quite sure if it were to happen today, I would have no hesitation in reporting it.

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  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    I remember being traumatised at school when I was in year 3 - what is now Year 9 I think. There was this lad in a lot of my classes who did it all the time, and just for the laugh, he wiped his hand all over other people's books afterwards... :S

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    Not quite; but as a male, I have had equivalent comments thrown my way in the workplace.

    When I was at college/final years of school (ages 16-18), I had a saturday job in Superdrug for my sins. I was working with mainly women, most of whom were more than twice my age. I experienced countless comments that I saw as harmless, but if I repeated them, they would be deemed sexist by the hardcore PC brigade.

    Can I add that I did not see them as harmless because I enjoyed the sensation of being surrounded by women - it's just that even at 16 I saw it as harmless banter. Some of the comments were quite graphic (out of earshot of the customers), however they were decent people and not malicious. I never felt uncomfortable.

    Probably the most eyebrow-raising incident I encountered was when I worked as a temp after Uni in a call centre. Upon leaving the canteen, me and my team had all been laughing and joking. A female co-worker then deliberately bent over in front of me and stopped, the aim being that I walked into her (thankfully I didn't). Again, no offence taken.

    Whilst I disagree with AG's sacking, I do agree with the notion that if the lineswoman's career suffers as a result, then that too is unfair.

    Can I suggest that it wasn't actually Andy Gray's comments that have caused the negative side-effects for the female official (i.e. being taken off the Crewe match) - rather, her position is being made difficult by the sensationally overblown media coverage of the incident!

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    No but I have suffered from very lewd dirty comments by men at work

    I have found it embarrassing when some creepy guy comes on to me at work and gets nasty when he is rejected

    I did try to report it , my female manager did not take it seriously so I left

    I agree what Andy gray did was unacceptable , how would anybody want their wife sister or daughter treated this way

  • SBD
    Lv 5
    10 years ago

    Hi - yes - from the boss. No, I didn't report it as we didn't have an HR department.

    It was just banter, but it formed part of a very male environment, where women were constantly sexualised and categorised - you were either fit, a Milf, a lesbian or dried up.

    I just looked for another job.

  • Dolly
    Lv 6
    10 years ago

    it would depend on how well i knew the person, if i knew them well and it was obvious he was joking then no i wouldn't report him but if i was in a dark photocopying portacabin and was grabbed by the boobies and then asked to put my hand down his trousers then there would be no point in speaking to HR unless they were the only ones who could call the ambulance. true story that lolol

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    When I was younger I was chased around the office by a much older male manager brandishing the wrong end of a broom. Strange behaviour but was (uncomfortably) laughed off.

    I'm going along with the theory someone at Sky had it in for Andy Gray to leak clips onto the internet. Sky had no choice but to sack him but I also agree that the women on Loose Women say at lot worse about men and to male guests, yet they can get away with it.

    Double standards

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