My co-worker down at the beauty salon is very bitchy to me; how can I get him to lighten up?

Julio was always the one the little old ladies flocked to for their blue hair rinse until I started working there, but these days those old ladies are flocking the daylights out of ME. I can't help it if I have the talent that Julio doesn't have, and his jealousy is making him unreasonably bitchy towards... show more Julio was always the one the little old ladies flocked to for their blue hair rinse until I started working there, but these days those old ladies are flocking the daylights out of ME. I can't help it if I have the talent that Julio doesn't have, and his jealousy is making him unreasonably bitchy towards me.

It all started when that sexy octogenarian Mrs. Shnitzky came to me for a complete makeover and left looking like a million bucks! Believe me, the bingo hall set was envious of Shnitzky when they saw that the Lady Gaga treatment I had given her eyes matched perfectly with her cataracts, and that the temporary butterfly tattoo I had placed on her breast just above her peek-a-boo top was a delightful cover-up for that scar from her last knee replacement!

Well, ever since then, I have been the star down at the Kunte and Kurle Salon, and Julio has been stuck giving bikini waxes to the dames from Plaid & Birkenstocks Retirement Villa. Instead of accepting this graciously, however, Julio has been doing horrible things to sabotage me, like spreading the word that I have a wife and kids at home! What self-respecting matron is going to come to a straight man to have her hair done?! I think this is just too low, but Julio just sashays right past me, saying stuff like, "You'll be doing wash-and-sets on the morgue populace before too long, sweetie."

I've tried to counter his slander by being as super fem as I know how, but absolutely no one believed that Phil, the guy who pumps septic tanks in my trailer park, was actually my boyfriend. I had asked him to stop by to help me make an impression, but when he came in, he reeked so badly I just couldn't kiss him. Julio seized the opportunity to say loudly, "You must not love your man too much if you can't even kiss him....IF he's really your man!" I could have cried, but everyone would have thought it was just the bouquet of perm solution and septic tank getting to me.

My job is in jeopardy! How can I get Julio to lighten up and not be so bitchy, and safeguard my job and clientele?
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