Im being abused... how do I get out?
I have been on here complaining about my dad a lot lately. If you read my older post you will see. But to sum it up he uses money, physical threats, and guilt to control me.
I literally just sat here and cried as I read this website. http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abus...
because he does almost all of these things. Accept not anything sexual because he is my father.
Heres the short story him and my mother have not taken the initiative to teach me how to be a adult (driving, getting a job, going to college) basically anything that includes me providing for myself.
I am 21 and literally my mother finally gave me the money to take drivers ed but her and my dad have refused to teach me how to drive. I had a job when I was 18 but I quit once I started college I was only making about 7 an hour which was hardly enough to buy my own ANYTHING. I enrolled in college and will be graduating with my A.S this May. However, the university I was planning on transferring to is an hour away and my parents refused me a car if I want to go there, they told me they wont give me rides there.. and they want me to go to another college in a different state which is closer means an extra 2 more years of college... and the other colleges program is 1 year which means I could move out and have a career by the time I am 23. They throw fits if I leave my hour for more then 2-4 hours, the call me over and over sometimes and I cannot even have friends at my house because my father thinks they are all going to hell and he wants to lecture them and get them saved.
My father makes me feel like I am nothing, he used to literally beat me with belts and switches and social services came to my house once and the cops came once but no one ever changed or did anything. He still threatens to hit me when I make him mad. He threatens to financially disown me, he is trying to control where I go to school so I have to live with him as long as he can make me. He yells at me for everything he makes me feel guilty like I am doing something wrong 24/7. I don't have the holy spirit, I watch crap on tv, listen to trashy music, I need to tell all my friends to go to church, he knows I have sex with my boyfriend and I am an adulterer, he says I think I know everything because I go to college but I know nothing, I don't read the bible enough, I don't respect my mother...
from that website he does all these things.
feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for his own abusive behavior?
have a bad and unpredictable temper?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
control where you go or what you do?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
constantly check up on you?
When I was younger I used to rebel and he would hit me, and I know if I comply with everything he wants he wont hit me and he doesn't get mad most days. But I am tired of it... telling me where to go to school was the final breaking point. I feel broken like I cannot be myself I feel trapped and unhappy and hurt.
I honestly and truthfully at the age of 21 have NO IDEA how to move out on my own. I don't see how anyone is supporting themselves right now I don't know what kind of job I can get with an incomplete medical field education and a 3 almost 4 year gap in job experience.
How do I get out? What are my options?
I am also afraid he will get angry and want to hit me if I try and leave.
- EvergreenLv 59 years agoFavorite Answer
You need to report this to the police again. This ain't right.
- lanadelreyLv 49 years ago
You don't need to be living like this. I know exactly how you feel. If you can, contact an aunt, uncle, sibling, close friend,anyone you believe can help and get you out of this. Just work a simple job, try to find a place to stay at a friend's. Try to get a counselor maybe? Anyways, my advice is, you are not what he tells you he is. Don't feel bad and cry your self to sleep. You ARE an amazing person, and get on with your life. Find anyone, anyone, to take u in, if no one does, then, everyone you thought were your friends are actually assholes...or whatever...The main point is, just go on, run away, call someone. Tell them. It's better opening up the bottle than keeping it closed than all these years, trust me, it's better for you. I wish you all the best.Source(s): Experience
- 9 years ago
FIRST believe that anything in life is not lasts forever. Try believing in friends. Practice questioning. Don't fear about your father all the time. He should not feel like you will be feared him all the time. He should feel like you will not care what ever he does. Do thing s in right way. Try being independent. Bible will inspire you but may not guarantee your future. Be in a correct way. when you are doing a correct thing don't fear about anything. If you are fearing to do something stop it.
- leslieLv 44 years ago
Make an appointment with the family doctor tell him everything - he should be able to get through to your parents and get some kind of help for your brother as well. If you can't do that see the school counsellor - keep on until someone takes action.
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- Anonymous9 years ago
First move out to stay with a close relative or friend. Find a job, get any job for now, and start saving. You need to get away from him somehow, then you can think more clearly once you're free of him and start to figure things out. But you need to take action.
- 9 years ago
If he's that bad look for a job and move out. even if u go and live with a friend or something and pay them a bit for it or something. And don't worry, it's not you thats crazy, its him.
- Anonymous9 years ago
Your father is choking you.
Look for a job, any job, to become independant.Source(s): Stay positive, life is not what they tell you it is.