How can I tell if a girl likes me and if she likes me for me?

It seems as if most of the girls I have met ever either only want a guy with big money or flashy things and/or someone who drinks or smokes or... I used to drive a nice car and the ladies seemed to notice me. Now that I haven't driven it in a while, they don't even acknowledge me hardly. Also because I don't drink or smoke, people act as if I am some sort of strange person or something. When I do find someone who seems to notice me they either smoke or drink or has a bunch of kids or something. Now don't get me wrong I am open to some of that. If she drinks occasionally on a social basis, I can work with that. Just not going out all the time to party. Especially if I am never invited. If she either has a small child or has one on the way, I can work with that too. The main reason I prefer no kids to start with is because I don't want to be the next father to walk out on them if it don't work out. It's not the kids fault, so why put them through that. But like I said I am willing to give it a whirl. I have in the past and it was ok until me and her did not get along. Luckily the kids were only a year old so they really don't remember. Another reason is because I would like to have my own kids someday and if they already have kids sometimes they don't want anymore. That wouldn't be fair to me. Not trying to sound selfish but I think I should be allowed the same chance as they had to have my own. But one thing I am not even close to being as open to is smoking. Yuck! I can't stand smoking and it seems almost every girl I come across smokes. Not all but a huge number of them. If they keep it away from me and whatever children may or may not be in the picture and are willing to actually quit not just talk about it, then maybe I'd give her my attention. People say it is so hard to quit and that they have tried but yet I know so many who have just up and quit after many years and no problems. My grandpa quit about a year ago around his 85th birthday and he was smoking most of his life. He just one day decided he didn't want to do it anymore and just quit. Now he just pops a piece of hard candy instead. No worries there, he hasn't had teeth as long as I could remember. lol So anyway sorry for blabbering but any help would be appreciated. Thank you!! Have a great day.


Thanks for all the answers. They are all good in there own way. But a couple things I wanted to add...I am not as young as some may think. I will be 31 in a couple of weeks. Also I have been single for kind of a while. Some have said not go looking that it will find me so I haven't really actually looked for a long time and I know it may sound bad but my patience is running out. I haven't even gone out to a club in Holy Crap!! like 10 years. Oh boy where does the time go :D I mean I have gone out to other places like mini golf and go kart places as well as car shows. I love cars. Another thing is I have been told not to act goofy as much as I do because I may be scaring the ladies away. But that is who I am. So should I not show it? Is it possible "the one" came along and I did not realize it and let her pass me by?

Update 2:


5 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    You need to tell her how you feel and see what her response is to what you have said. If her response is speechless then she either likes you or she may be appalled because she doesn't like you back.

    On the other hand she might be the kind of girl that gives you an answer, (''I like you'' or ''I don't like you in that way'').

    You shouldn't feel offended though if she does reject you - just take life as it comes at you and don't obsess over her too much, (trust me, I've been down that road with a guy and well we almost lost our friendship because of it).

    I hope that helped :)

    Victoria x

  • 1 decade ago

    Most girls aren't that shallow. Yes, nice things grab girls attentions just like looks do, but that's not going to keep them coming back around (well it's not going to keep the good ones). Maybe you're looking in all the wrong places. Where do you meet these girls? Do you go to clubs?

    Try hitting up a bookstore, coffee shop, or someplace that actually interests you. You could also use this single time as an advantage. Do things for you. Take some classes, and try new things. Just develop some more hobbies that you've always wanted to do. You'll meet new people and be more interesting. Just be you and girls will love you for it.

    -Good luck & hope this helps!

    Answer mine?;_ylt=AvxGf...

  • 1 decade ago

    You shouldn't be in such a hurry to find a girl right now. You sound like your still young, you have time. What you need to do is make a list that you want in a woman. The main thing to do is write down all the things that you don't want and clearly that's smoking which is understandable. Smoking does cause asthma in children as well as eventually cancer.

    So, make your list for yourself and don't compromise, if you have patience then your future wife will come to you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't judge a book by it's cover ;D.

    Tbh, I don't look at guys and search for flashy cars, or badboys?

    The most amazing guy I know, is this guy who can be let me be me!

    I know it's childish but me and him just always have fun, we don't care about our age, we just have fun [:

    We painted the walls of his flat with handprints and footprints and just wacked the brush on the wall, and had sooo much fun :D. And we can also just relax with eachother, I don't care if people call him a nerd and stuff, and ask why I hang out with him? He's fun, most guys aren't like him:(

    And we also, just go up to the highest place where we live and get music and just watch the scenery:L

    I don't care what people think of him? He's amazing to me! Nuff said.

    And lmfao, I guess I blabbered on a bit too much aswell :x

    You'll find someone who likes you for who you are[:

    If it's not someone you know atm, maybe in the future someone will come your way ;D

    And tbh, I think people that smoke just want to fúck up their life |-]

    Some just have it cause their life's really bad, and that just makes them feel better? But I don't get that at all..

    So anyway! Not all girls are like that [:

    At the end of the day, we always come to the guys with the nice hearts <3

    I just read your extra bit, well erm, tbh you should be yourself around women, but you shouldn't act too goofy...

    Like the guy I described above is awesome! He's talks a lot and is a cconversationist like me.[:

    Although people think he's weird and me and him are like opposites and we shouldn't hang out and all that..

    he's a guy I can be myself with, he makes me feel amazing! And if I went of a normal date with any guys from my school, it would be so boring compared to what me and jake do[:

    So don't act tooooooooooo goofy, but that doesn't mean you can't be yourself[:

    Source(s): I'm sure you're awesome [: And you will find someone who like you for who you are![: x
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    from reading this you sound like a really decent guy, this may not be the advice you asked for but from what i have read here you are the type of guy that a girl would want because you sound honest and open, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week or month but one day you WILL meet a girl that likes you for YOU, and they will have the same interests as you and it will be good :) just have some patience. if a girl does like you for you, you will know because she wont care about your car etc. Good luck

    Source(s): i used to have same problem then i met the one :)
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