I'm having sex with my own aunt (5 years now) and I'm addicted to the sex, but how do I get away? Do I stay?

Ok, I'll make a very long story short. I never planned this. I've been having sex with my aunt since I moved away to college, the same city she lives in. I live with her and sleep with her. I'm totally addicted to the crazy sex. She has me feeling trapped and like I'm missing out on life. I'm... show more Ok, I'll make a very long story short.

I never planned this. I've been having sex with my aunt since I moved away to college, the same city she lives in. I live with her and sleep with her. I'm totally addicted to the crazy sex. She has me feeling trapped and like I'm missing out on life. I'm almost 23 now and going to graduate college soon . When it started I was 18 and she was 36. She and my mother don't talk (long story, family feud), so I hadn't seen my aunt in years. The last I saw her was when I was 11 and she was married to my uncle. They were both religious and my aunt was very plain looking. They were very fuddy duddy. But they got divorced. He left her for some other woman in his church.

Fast forward. I move away to college. I'm 18. My aunt lives in the same city. Soon after arriving at college, I was living it up. Meeting girls and going to parties. It was great. I called my aunt to say hi a couple of weeks after school started. She said "Don't be a stranger." So I stopped by a few weeks after school started thinking she was going to have me do boring chores in the backyard, and preach to me about religion.

When she opened the door I was in for the shock of my life. She was a hot *** MILF. She had gained some weight in all the right places (she used to be skinny as a rail), and everything about her was hot as hell. She kind of looks like that porn star Priya Rai. DAMN. I had to gulp. It was awkward. Fast forward again: on another visit, we were in her backyard drinking on a Friday night. Music playing. We got drunk. Dancing. And yep, one thing led to another. Next thing I know, we're in her bed naked and having sex like hungry animals. All I can say is that it was the most incredible sex I ever had (until later). I wish she was ANYBODY else but my aunt.

I felt so guilty and disgusted with myself. I woke up in her bed in the middle of the night. She said she didn't regret it at all. She was ok with it. I said I never want my mother to find out. She said we're both adults. It's nobody else' business who we have sex with. I didn't talk to her for two weeks. I was so confused and warped. Then she called me and said she wanted to talk. I went to see her and she drops a huge BOMBSHELL on me. She says, "I want a relationship. Strings attached. I will give you all the sex you want. Any kind of sex you want it, anytime. And I want you to be the dominant one in the relationship."
My mind freaking exploded. What do you think I did? I was 18. Anyhow, she is like a venus flytrap. She has keep me addicted to BDSM sex, anal sex with her, she lets me watch porn during sex. She's a sex obsessed woman who latched on to me. She does everything for me. I mean everything. Meals. Rent. Food. She even went out and got a breast augmentation job just for me.

Here's my problem: I'm trapped! I miss my life. I've been in this for 5 years now, hiding it from my family. I see no future in this. But my "body" is living a fantasy. I don't know what to do.
Update: WHEW! Just admitting this to strangers has made me feel so much relief. I avoided counselors because it was face to face. I go back and forth with being disgusted and physical pleasures. She has stolen a normal life from me. I should have been dating and being "normal." Man, this is going to be difficult.... show more WHEW! Just admitting this to strangers has made me feel so much relief. I avoided counselors because it was face to face. I go back and forth with being disgusted and physical pleasures. She has stolen a normal life from me. I should have been dating and being "normal." Man, this is going to be difficult. I have been deprived of normal relationships. God I hate my life.
Update 2: Whoa. I just read #10 "Natalie's" comment. Now I'm reconsidering it all. I never thought of it like that. Wow.
Update 3: To all the comments who said I should have just walked away. It wasn't that easy. In the beginning, I told her "This is too complicated." She said, "No, complicated is when you came inside my pussy. This is beyond complicated. This is what I want now." Over the years, I have worked up the... show more To all the comments who said I should have just walked away. It wasn't that easy. In the beginning, I told her "This is too complicated." She said, "No, complicated is when you came inside my pussy. This is beyond complicated. This is what I want now."
Over the years, I have worked up the nerve to walk away, but then she walks into the room naked and I'm done. Resistance has always been useless.
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