My Wife Hits Me and Takes Our Child Away From Me?
When my wife and I get into serious arguments, she will hit me. The most recent time, our argument got very heated, she called me a "bastard" I responded by calling her the "b" word, and she proceded to hit me.
I did not hit back but took measures to protect myself by grabbing her wrists and moving her arms away from me. For hitting me I called her a very terrible name (she knows that I will not hit her back and that hitting me in the face sets me off, which is why she does this). After calling her this she proceded to hit me some more, and later took our daughter next door to her parents house (I personally have no problems with her parents, and our relationship is very good).
Now, my wife will only come home for an hour or so a day when I complain and bring my daughter. She has told me that she will not let me see my daughter without her being around. She has constantly told me that I verbally abuse her by calling her a "b" (I only do so when she starts calling me names and telling me things that she knows will upset me) and that I am a man and should be able to deal with her hitting me. She has told me that her hitting me is not a big deal because she have never left bruises (I have taken pictures of my face being slightly red and swolen, but not to a great extent), and that I would be in more trouble because in grabbing her wrists to keep her from hitting me I have left bruises on her.
I feel at a serious disadvantage because not only do her parents live next door, three of her siblings live on the same street as well. I know that the things I say are what causes her to hit me, and while I know that doesn't justify her violence, I feel that in front of a judge I will be told that I am baiting her into doing this. I would like to call the cops when she hits me, but with so much of her family living next door, I will be ganged up on once they see the police and come over to see what's going on.
My daughter is the most important thing to me. I am not afraid right now that she will hurt our daughter (she is a good mother, and doesn't believe in spanking, but that could change). I have mentioned in the past that if we were to ever split up I would like 50% custody for the two of us as I grew up without a father and don't want my daughter to be without either parent. My wife has told me that she would not allow this because she wouldn't want to miss half of our daughter's life (and so I would have to miss 80% of it).
Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I have a stable job that, while it does not pay well, it pays my bills and allows me to support my daughter. My wife and I are both college educated, but she currently stays at home to take care of our daughter and study for the Medical School Entrance Exams.
I am not trying to justify my behavior, but I used to bite my tongue and let her call me names and tell me horrible things.
These days I've given up just taking it, and I'm starting to feel it is a sign that our marriage is through.
She told me recently that she will let me see my daughter as I want to when I decide that I am "ready to have a family".
To her this means that I have to make nice and beg for forgiveness so that we can go back to normal before I can start to see my daughter unsupervised again.