Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingOther - Pregnancy & Parenting · 9 years ago

Does the 99¢ store carry a home paternity test?

Because I just cannot see shelling out big bucks just because some woman got me drunk and had her way with me a year ago in the Arco station bathroom. That kid doesn't look anything like me, either, it's all pale and has a sort of long face. Anyway, I'm thinking of getting off on the cheap, so has anyone bought a home paternity test from there before?

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  • 9 years ago
    Best answer

    Call the producers of the Maury Povich show. You and several other possible baby-daddies can be assured of at least a couple of nights free accommodation at a 3 star hotel and meals off of this show simply for your participation.

    (I actually met real contestants on the Jerry Springer show in my small British Columbia town who went to Chicago to engage in a love triangle on that show!!)

    You can all be tested and relieved when your entire posse learns that it wasn't responsible for Ashley Wanda's mutant twins...

    Andy Warhol's 15 minutes of Fame awaits you...

  • 9 years ago

    No. The cheapest test you can do is using an online company. The link below is a certified DNA laboratory.

    Don't bother buying the paternity test at the drug store. They charge you $20-30 for paperwork, a ziplock and a few Qtips. You still have to pay for the test. You can provide your own, print the paperwork on your printer and pay a lot less with the link below.

  • 9 years ago

    No they do not have a home paternity test at the 99cent store. Walgreens has it for $20 something but when you send it in you have to pay a little over $100 to get the results. It's worth paying to know for sure though. That way if he/she is yours you won't miss out on anything. **You could be a little nicer and not call the child "it"**

  • I thought I told you to take a rape whistle with you whenever you go into those gas station bathrooms! And now look what's gone and happened, you were impregnated by the mutant from Splice! Now will you listen to me, young man?

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    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    no, unless you're talking the kind where they send you the kit and you send it in for analysis. that kind, btw, won't hold up in court because there's no guarantee of the identify of the person donating the DNA.

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Let me guess: The barbershop on the corner of Inception and Flock was plum out of 'em!

    (((((One Jack Off Plain Parenthood)))))

    .

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Yes, darling, they do, although it's maybe not the latest thing in scientific accuracy. It's nothing more than the cashier looking at you and the kid and telling you whether you look alike.

    (((Jack)))

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you also buy condoms at the dollar store -- right?

  • 9 years ago

    If they do luv can you pick me up one as well? Everytime I look at that dumb, useless daughter of mine I just KNOW that I can't be her mother.........

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