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My Dad had a massive stroke, they say he will die, but he hasn't yet.?

He was in the hospital for about 9 days. They did tests on him and said without a feeding tube he would die because he can't swallow. Most of his left side is paralyzed. He's at home now on hospice care. We've had him home now for almost nine days, and he isn't dead, because he has learned to swallow without choking. They still tell us he is going to die. He is 88 years old and I know any recovery he makes will be minimal but he says he wants to live. If he wants to live, why are they telling us he won't ?

4 Answers

  • Anne
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    ok well I assume you are adult enough to relate this story to, and perhaps you will understand that things aren't always as they seem when someone is really sick.

    My dad had heart failure a long time. He was in and out of hospital for years. Then, he was hospitalized for the last time. I flew home to the uk to help nurse him, if we ever got him home. He was given 48 hours to live.

    After 3 weeks, we got permission to bring him home, tho we were told the journey would probably kill him. It didn't. For 3 MONTHS he hung on, tho he was very ill most of the time. He was eating, but it got hard to swallow. This is because the body tries to do all the ESSENTIAL stuff, like breathing, and can't manage to keep up with everything.He got weaker and weaker as his intake of food became less and less. He didn't have the energy to eat nor the appetite. He was very stressed and knew he was dying. He wanted so much to live, it was heartbreaking.

    Anyway, when it got to the point where I was doing all the stuff for him that he couldn't do, he got depressed and realised he was never going to recover.

    A few times, he rallied round and was a joy to be with. We had many happy hours just talking and doing simple things like playing dominoes. But all the time he was weaker and weaker.

    Eventually, he got me to call the doctor on an emergency home visit. He was on a morphine driver by now, but couldn't take his meds as it was hard to swallow. The body packs up a lot of things, as it has less energy.

    The doctor, at my dad's request, gave him top up morphine and while I was at the shop buying jelly for him to eat, he passed away.

    What I am trying to say to you is could be a while before your dad dies, but he will. The body can only cope for so long in a situation where it is weak and starving. Do not make him eat, as his energy will be used up faster trying to absorb food, and can lead to horrible constipation which is very distressing. He will eat what he can, and should be indulged his every whim.

    My brave dad had 3 months of pain and discomfort before he died and I would have given my own life to spare him this. I am sobbing now at the awful memories of his struggle, and I sincerely hope when the time is right, that your father has an easy passing.

    you can talk to me via email at any time, day or night , if you wish.

    God Bless

    Source(s): My lovely brave dad.
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  • 1 decade ago

    The doctors are giving you the best available medical prognosis - meaning, his odds are not good for survival. I'm sorry you are in this situation, but it is important to actually understand what the doctors are saying. It is a good sign that he wants to live, because this often helps patients recover when it seems otherwise impossible. The doctors can't tell you that he has a good chance of survival because that is not medically accurate. Reminisce with him, tell him stories and ask him about his life if he is feeling up to talking. Best wishes.

    Source(s): my experience - grandfather was in hospice, also i'm a med student.
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  • Helen
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    I am sorry for your loss & can well imagine how you have various mixed feelings. Is there any way you could be there for your sister tho? I don't care how "strong" you are, or she is, she still has a LOT of things to do to plan for his funeral nonetheless. I recently lost my 14 yr. old daughter in a car accident & too well know ALL that's involved. I'm sure her mind is going in so many different directions & she's carrying around the grief of loosing her father. That IS a lot to handle, especially having to do it alone. I'm sure rite about now she could so well use a big warm hug from her sister! I don't know how far away you are from her, but if at all possible I'd do my best to go to her. At least you KNOW where he is & that you'll see him again one day. My Daughter too was a Christian & we KNOW she's in Heaven waiting to see us one of these days. Her hero on My Space was Jesus, we KNOW she's with her "hero". That is our comfort! I'm sure you've been praying for your sister that God will give her the strength to get thru this. If she goes to church, I'm sure she has friends who have been with her for at least some kind of support. My two girls belonged to a Youth Group in church & my older daughter was never left alone. There was ALWAYS someone from their Youth Group with her as she was driving the car & it happened on the way to school only 6 doors from home! It happened minutes after they left the house at 7 a.m. I hope there is just some way you can go to be with your sister if at all possible. I would imagine you feel the way you do as you know where he is, that IS such a comfort in itself. The best to you, honey, hope you are able to work things out...the Lord bless you & yours...:)

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well I hope he doesn't die . But he might . It may take 20 days or so.

    Or maybe the doctors are saying that because they don't want their prediction that he's gonna die to be wrong.

    Source(s): ME!
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