Lost faith in God........?

I lost my faith to God the other day. This week was a crucial time for me, and i don't often ask god for anything. I thank him when ever something good happens to me, and i pray to him. But i just don’t know anymore. Is it worth it anymore, to trust someone, to put so much faith in someone when you don’t know... show more I lost my faith to God the other day. This week was a crucial time for me, and i don't often ask god for anything. I thank him when ever something good happens to me, and i pray to him. But i just don’t know anymore. Is it worth it anymore, to trust someone, to put so much faith in someone when you don’t know if he will deliver or not. And no I am not Christian, and nor am I big on religion. The way I have lived is to act kind towards others, treat them as you wanted to be treated, and always help anyone in need. The thing is w/e something bad happens to me, i feel like God is trying to teach me a lesson, like everything happens for a reason right. I am 21 years old, and my life still has not turned around. I have been depressed, angry, and handicapped in many ways. I know my life is not as bad as others, but the thing is... If everything happens for a reason why are people dying, killed in earth quakes, killed by other men, killed by war, killed by diseases, killed by poverty and etc. And on the other hand you have the bad people in the world, who curse, drink, act unkind towards others, only care about money and themselves. Why are they better off? Is God favoring them, why do some live amazing lives and others have to struggle so much? Some people believe in heaven, but some people have brought heaven on earth. Like I see these big celebrities, and I am not blind they get where they are because they know someone and slept with them, they have done unimaginable things and yet they are better off. Why is God favoring them instead of others…Should I put so much faith into God, when instead I should just put all the faith in myself? I was taught growing up pray to God, and he will guide you. But as I grow older, I want answers I want my life to be better. Where is God, why won’t he show himself, why does he kill innocent kids, and starve nations while there are people out there who buy million dollar watches, live in 10 million dollar houses, and live so comfortably. I think its funny when people say money can not buy you happiness. In this world we run on money. People who struggle live pay check to pay check are more worried about providing for their family, then how "amazing" their life is.
-And no I don’t need answers from the bible, I don’t want to study the bible, I don’t need answers from something written thousands of years ago. How long are we going to believe in God, how much faith can human kind have on something like that…Why is he afraid to show himself now, what lesson is he trying to teach us there are so many. Why do innocent people die, get raped, are in so much trouble while there are so many evil men and women who live such nice lives. Why….. I have lost faith in God, I should have just put all my efforts in myself. Ultimately the only person who will deliver and who you can have faith in is yourself, I am starting to believe that now then some Old man in the sky.
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