How do I get over feeling emotionally paralysed, and try to decide if I should reunite with my husband?

My husband and I have been separated almost 1 year - living in separate countries, even. The details of the split aren't that important - we both had midlife crises, we both neglected the marriage. Anyway, he has changed a lot, and REALLY wants to get back together. I genuinely feel that he loves me to an... show more My husband and I have been separated almost 1 year - living in separate countries, even. The details of the split aren't that important - we both had midlife crises, we both neglected the marriage.
Anyway, he has changed a lot, and REALLY wants to get back together. I genuinely feel that he loves me to an extreme degree. But the problem is, I honestly don't know how I feel. Sometimes, often times, I miss our relationship, our family (our child is grown, in uni) miss feeling a sense of purpose. But I am also kind of liking being single. We've been together since I was 17, married at 21. I'm now 40. I feel like if I could just make up my mind, then life could go on for me in one way or the other. I don't want to outright say, "Yes! Let's get back together!", and I also don't want to say "No" and completely close the door on what was essentially a pretty darn good marriage for 18 years. Anyone else been through this? I feel responsible for both of us. I just genuinely don't know what I want, and feel incapable of making decisions - which is not normal for me. Advice, anyone?
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