First off I'm a guy (sorry), but I do feel I might be of some help. I know quite a bit where you are, as I have had somewhat similar experiences. To begin with, don't try to focus on what NOT to do. By doing that, you'll be giving the negative problems energy, therefore inadvertently making it worse. Instead try to not do anything. I know this sounds completely unhelpful and not what you're looking for, but the more you TRY to get a girlfriend (or anything in life) by focusing on what you should and shouldn't do, you have a high chance of completely not succeeding in what you want. By trying to nail down what not to do, you will be tying yourself to the problem. I recommend trying to be yourself, (you don't really need to try at all, that would defeat the purpose). Your subconscious mind is WAY more powerful then your conscious mind. Try to get in tune with your subconscious. No matter how much you are consciously trying to do something a certain way, it will never be able to be as good or as well done as if you had just let your subconscious mind do the work. That's why you shouldn't really try to do anything. You already let you subconscious mind do most of your work for you each day anyway. It's not like you have to think about how to walk, or talk, or eat, or sleep, or type fast on a keyboard, or play a musical instrument quickly. By becoming in tune with your subconscious, you'll be able to do things ten times as well with one tenth the work. Let whatever happens happen. Be yourself, be observant, and when you see a girl you like, go ahead and tell her what's on your heart. Tell her what you think and feel. If you think she is very kind and beautiful, go ahead and say it. Believe me I know all about the self-confidence thing so it may be really hard. I have had that exact same problem my whole life. Just ask yourself next time: Do I really feel this way in my heart about her? If the answer is yes, then why wouldn't you want to tell her what you feel? If you truly feel a certain way in your soul about someone, then you've got nothing to lose but a lifetime of regret. Think of that Rascall Flatts song "What hurts The Most". I hate to ramble on and this probably isn't what your looking for, and I understand, but hopefully it helps. You seem like a very nice and respectable guy, and any girl should be very happy to be with a guy like you. Someday you will find a girl who will love you completely for you, and you won't have to feel pressured about being anybody. Oh, and the MOST important thing to do is to always follow your heart. None of what I just told you matters OR is accurate if you don't follow your heart.