Ladies, do you think you could give me some advice so I don't keep screwing up?

Currently I'm 17 and have never had a girlfriend. Considering that I'm going to graduate and go to a much nicer part of the country in the fall, I don't really see the point in trying to find one during my last few months living in a paradise for senior citizens and soccer moms. I figure it's probably better to just wait it out and give it a shot later on. I live in a small town where people don't seem to be able to forget stupid mistakes and give a guy a second chance. I was kind of a screw-up a few years ago, but I've managed to turn my act around. However, it still comes up occasionally with the people here and it's really come back to bite me in the ***.

Anyway, I was sort of wondering if any of you ladies out there would be kind enough to give me some advice on what girls like and don't like, and what not to do in particular. I know they don't particularly like guys who smoke, drink, or abuse drugs but I don't do any of those things. I'm more concerned with what not to do, since that's where I seem to have the most problems.

There are a couple girls I almost asked out once upon a time, but both times some other guy beat me to it. Of course, I don't really have a right to be jealous or get pissed off if I'm not willing to step up to the plate in the first place. Eventually, I realized I'd be just as happy to have them as friends, and it's actually worked pretty well. I guess my self-esteem could use a bit of work, huh?

According to everyone I know, I've got a great sense of humor and I'll admit, I love making people laugh. I guess I'm a but shy at first, but that's probably because I tend to be skeptical and cautious. I'd have to say my personality would be more of a type B with a work ethic. I'm just curious, do I stand a chance in hell later on? I know this might be a bit long, but thanks for looking it over. Feel free to contact me if you've got any other questions.

2 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    First off I'm a guy (sorry), but I do feel I might be of some help. I know quite a bit where you are, as I have had somewhat similar experiences. To begin with, don't try to focus on what NOT to do. By doing that, you'll be giving the negative problems energy, therefore inadvertently making it worse. Instead try to not do anything. I know this sounds completely unhelpful and not what you're looking for, but the more you TRY to get a girlfriend (or anything in life) by focusing on what you should and shouldn't do, you have a high chance of completely not succeeding in what you want. By trying to nail down what not to do, you will be tying yourself to the problem. I recommend trying to be yourself, (you don't really need to try at all, that would defeat the purpose). Your subconscious mind is WAY more powerful then your conscious mind. Try to get in tune with your subconscious. No matter how much you are consciously trying to do something a certain way, it will never be able to be as good or as well done as if you had just let your subconscious mind do the work. That's why you shouldn't really try to do anything. You already let you subconscious mind do most of your work for you each day anyway. It's not like you have to think about how to walk, or talk, or eat, or sleep, or type fast on a keyboard, or play a musical instrument quickly. By becoming in tune with your subconscious, you'll be able to do things ten times as well with one tenth the work. Let whatever happens happen. Be yourself, be observant, and when you see a girl you like, go ahead and tell her what's on your heart. Tell her what you think and feel. If you think she is very kind and beautiful, go ahead and say it. Believe me I know all about the self-confidence thing so it may be really hard. I have had that exact same problem my whole life. Just ask yourself next time: Do I really feel this way in my heart about her? If the answer is yes, then why wouldn't you want to tell her what you feel? If you truly feel a certain way in your soul about someone, then you've got nothing to lose but a lifetime of regret. Think of that Rascall Flatts song "What hurts The Most". I hate to ramble on and this probably isn't what your looking for, and I understand, but hopefully it helps. You seem like a very nice and respectable guy, and any girl should be very happy to be with a guy like you. Someday you will find a girl who will love you completely for you, and you won't have to feel pressured about being anybody. Oh, and the MOST important thing to do is to always follow your heart. None of what I just told you matters OR is accurate if you don't follow your heart.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    Hey. Well she is often going via a tough patch and blames the whole lot to your get a divorce. She quite demands to grasp that you do not like her in that manner. You most likely do not desire to harm her emotions however via ignoring her sompletely you're making her extra insecure approximately herself even though your simply looking to be first-class! You have to cal her up at the telephone. And simply say how first-class she is and the way she's going to uncover any person else however that you just are not able to be that any person as she's simply no longer the only for you. If she will get irrational or disappointed simply speak slowly and say how she is going to meet any person who will feel the sector of her and that you just are not able to furnish the affection she merits. PLEASE don't snicker with you friends approximately what a stalker she is - this could be without doubt horrible for her to uncover out approximately. Hope that is useful x

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