You sound like another obnoxious queer that conflates their sexual orientation struggles with transsexual women's medical condition or at the very least treats it as an identical struggle. This kind of arrogance is what has alienated and inflamed African-Americans against white gays when they so obnoxiously try to compare there struggles as equally harsh. Complaining about civil inequality from a rich neighborhood like Greenwich Village or the Castro District to African Americans in poor neighborhoods like East New York and East Oakland than having the gall to compare struggles as equal for bonding and unity's sake will definitely do that!
As a bi-sexual guy, you get to conceal your sexual orientation when it is convenient, even to gays never mind heterosexuals. Your friend on the other hand does not have that luxury. She has to deal with depravity and cruelty beyond imagination for most people. Giving a list of examples would be beyond the scope of my answer.
There also is the factor that bisexuals, with their fetishistic 3rd gender attractions to transsexual women are relationally disrespecting them to the point of debasement. Even if your not doing that, I am sure some of the people in your new circle of friends are.
The defensiveness that you and some other posters describe as a stereotype of transgender women is a consequence of being badly outnumbered (transsexuals make up less than 1 in 1000 people) in a cruel human rights struggle compared to the relatively mere civil equality struggle that queers are fighting. Of course some transsexuals have access to more money than others. There is a strong correlation between pre-transition masculinity and financial resources. This goes along way towards protecting themselves against human rights abuse that others who don't have the means cannot do.
Of course her behavior will alienate people but it is what she will often have to do to protect herself and survive even if she does badly over do it at times due to fear. The catch-22 she is in is somewhat comparable to men in tough prisons. They need to constantly act hyper-masculine and anti-social to survive prison, but unfortunately, such behaviors become a barrier to friendships, employment and making it outside of prison. Even when either example is fully aware of the consequences, it is usually not possible to turn it off at will due to the psychological damage of repetition.
Until hostility is removed from her environment, which won't happen until either the culture war is over or she comes across enough money to insulate herself from the harshest of hostility, she won't begin to heal. Healing takes years after trauma has ceased.