Do married man choose to stay in a bad marriage instead of going after love?

He: a guy that I met at work (on the 7 week training) we started a friendship, he lives with his girlfriend, she was pregnant, his baby was born during the training (baby girl), We use to talk alot about his relationship, he said she was his karma, that maybe she was what he deserve for being a bad person... I felt atracted in way but I always knew it was not right, after a couple weeks we met after work and we felt that atraction, was weird all we did was talk, all I did was advise him, tell him that he need it to figure out a way to fix his relationship with her; and that day after work we kissed was sweet kiss I felt something I never felt before and he said he felt that too... we have done the same several times after work and a few days ago we had sex, we agree that that was going to be the last time together but I fall in love with him and he is right we have to stop this, Why do I feel like I want him to leave everything for me, or why do I want him to fight for me :(

17 Answers

  • Best answer

    affairs seem to revolve aroubd those three little words... fact is, if those words held credibility then there would be no affair.. period... the current stagnant relationship would be terminated in order for the new love to develop... and in all honesty, the person in the existing relationship/marriage must feel something is missing otherwise why would their hearts stray from "those vows"... the guilt that arises from having an affair is not necessarily guilt felt by deserting a long term partner.. more likely the guilt is towards the new beau and a promise of a dream that WONT come true unless both parties are totally commited. i.e .. they're cheating on their spouse by making memories with another, yet at the end of the day they cheat on their new love by sleeping with the partner they betray.

    all or nothing... you cant have your cake and eat it .. especially if you have a partner who WONT let you leave because you're feathering their nest... .. and so a relationship revolves not around "vows" but around fear.. and suspicion and control.

  • 4 years ago

    In a nutshell, you say that he's a great guy and you have your own issues. Your issues won't magically be resolved if you dump your husband. You'll just be dealing with them alone with the added guilt of forcing your child to deal with divorce. And why in the world would you make a life-changing decision when you are not emotionally or mentally stable? None of us think clearly at those times. Following your heart is a load of crap. Our hearts are fickle and always looking for someone else to make us happy. That's not smart or even realistic. Love is a choice. It's not easy to keep the fires going after a lot of history has passed between you two, but love does grow and move through stages. Learn about them, resume working on yourself, and don't take the path of least resistance just because doing the right thing and making the necessary adjustments requires more effort. When you get to the other side of this difficult period, the reward is great and your marriage will be significantly enriched. Most people don't make it that far because they're quitters. Regardless of what's happened in your past, your husband has learned from his mistakes and grown into a great spouse now. That's what matters. Don't be a quitter. It's not admirable or honorable, and the gratification is shallow, temporary and misleading.

  • 10 years ago

    I was unhappy in my marriage for a long time. The reason I stayed was because I gave my word that I would be supportive to my wife through good times and bad. I always thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel and that by holding on a little more, things would get better.

    That was a total delusion and it didn't work that way. It does explain why men choose to stay. I never want to be the one to abandon a woman drowning in her own issues but it comes at a price.

    So yes, many men will choose to stay in an unhappy marriage for noble reasons.

    Your guy is NOT one of those men.

  • 10 years ago

    Answer #11 has told you like it is. A married men always come with those kind of story, they know how to get you. They would never leave his wife or girlfriend no matter what the reason are. Just get this through your mind. It's very typical in a married men to talk about his wife and the kind of life they have when in reality they are the one who create this situation. I went through one bad experience one and I love this men and only God know. He would give everything I want. One day I decided that thing will never change and my only option was to get out as much as it hurt me. He used to talk about his wife and I though why in the world they stay in that situation. Forget about this men, when a men love a woman he does not cheat on her or go to somebody else. You were there available for him. Ask yourself a question. Do you really think he is going to leave the other woman, the answer is no. He does not going to fight for you, he already got what he wanted.

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  • 10 years ago

    Some good advise given already. One day you may hold your own baby in your arms. What if your man did the same to you?

    You don't know the sacrifice one makes to truly love someone and to bring a child into this world, bad marriage or not.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying

  • 10 years ago

    So you have this thing for a guy that already has one pregnant girlfriend. Maybe you might seriously want to wear protection next time, 'cause I'm guessing you didn't the first, second, or third time.

    Sounds like a great catch, I'd definitely go all out for him, yeah, and just so you know, I do understand it is you that doesn't.

  • 10 years ago

    Ok, he is a jerk that is treating his girlfriend like crap! Doesn't matter if he is happy with her or not. If he isn't happy he should leave her before having any physical contact with you. My bet is he isn't telling the truth. He is just a cheating scumbag that told you that sob story to get you to feel sorry for him and sleep with him. Then he is going back to his girlfriend like nothing ever happened. Too bad you feel for it. Shame on you both!

  • 10 years ago

    You feel for him because you r just attracted towards him. This is not a love. He is playing with your feelings. Try understand dear. He would not leave his g.fren for you. What he needs can get from you without marrying you. Sometimes you need to apply brain instead of thinking from heart.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    If he was really unhappy he would have left her. He is telling you stories to get you into bed, and you fell for it. You should have told him that if he wanted to be with you, he first has to get out of his present relationship. Now he's never going to do so because he knows you are the type who will sleep with a man who already lives with another woman, so why shouldn't he have his cake and eat it too

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