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Parents know we had sex, future possibilities, any advice or input?

My boyfriend and I are currently in a long distance relationship. We are both in college and legal obviously. We had sex together. I was a virgin but he wasn't. We are both clear of any infections or diseases. He knew he was my first and tried to make me as relaxed as he could. He was extremely careful and slow and was just great through that not so great time. When we had to go back to our home states we talked nonstop. We grew closer and closer and continue to. We see eachother every 2-3 months. We feel so strongly for eachother we decided to make a plan. If we get to our 2yr anniversary we will move in to an apartment together finish schooling, and/or go to graduate school but eventually we would like to get married and have a family together. Our parents know we have something special if we are putting ourselves through this long distance. Both of our parents know we have had sex and understand that it's not just some young adult prove ourselves thing, but it's actually making love. Our parents respect that as long as we are careful. I'm on the pill and he uses condoms. We were wonderingif it'd still be safe for sex if I'm still onthe pill but no condom. But he would pull out before finishing. It sounds crazy but anybody who has been in a long distance situation knows how difficult it is, and we think that is why we feel this way, it has made us stronger because we have no choice but to talk.

Our parents honestly hate the distance but we are determined to make it work. They know we have sex and have rules about it. Basically discreetly and no evidence. Which surprised us considering so many parents would be so against it. Or not happy about it. So I guess we are wondering why they may be acting so calmly about it?

His parents know about the 2 yr plan mine do not yet. What might be some hints or tips to tell them what we are planning? They know we want to do somethingin the future aka no more long distance but not exactly what. We still have about anothe year left till 2 yrs. How should we go about that? They've mentioned when telling us the "rules" that we cansleep in the same bed as much as we want whenwe move in together. Can that be a sign of good hope?

3 Answers

  • 1 decade ago

    I've known plenty of distance relationships that work and plenty that fall apart, just like not distance relationships. I would also suggest living in separate apartments for a few months when you do get to live in the same area. I've seen more relationships fall apart when changing from holiday to everyday than any other time.

    In terms of the condom issue, the pill will keep you safe from pregnancy (99% of women who have sex regularly and use the pill correctly (same time every day) will not get pregnant during the course of a year). If you use a condom and are on the pill, that number rises to about 99.9%. The pill does NOT protect against HIV or other sexually transmitted infections. If he becomes infected, condoms will reduce the chance of you getting a disease. How much you trust him is up to you. It's usually better to be safe than sorry, but that's up to you.


    married 5 years and as of today I'm in a bicoastal relationship

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think you are involving your parents WAY too much. You are an adult. Make these choices on your own and leave your parents out of it. That say you can sleep in the same bed as much as you want when you live together?? Oh goodie!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    all that is fine as long as every body have good understanding...its good to note that u both also have good understanding but if anything goes wrong? i think u shd asap coming to making love...pls do not use pills..its not safe for women at any point of time...always external protection is the best..let him use condom...

    good luck..! all the best...:)

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