Newborn and 2 rowdy dogs, don't want to get rid of the dogs. How do we make this work?
Both dogs are well trained but they aren't doing too good having to take a backseat and I'm not handling them too well right now.
Okay so I had a baby about a week and a half ago. And all was going well, well that is until I had to do this solo. I'm a stay at home mom, I've never been around babies before. I have 2 hyper dogs around 3 years old. I've already landed back in the hospital for a severe kidney infection so I'm exhausted as it is. And today is really the first day I've been all alone with my child and the two dogs.
I'm physically and emotionally exhausted and I don't know if I can handle 2 dogs and a baby. I'm almost wondering if the dogs are going to have to go. But at the same time I swore I would never be one of those people to give up my dogs just because I had a baby.
It seems I get the baby settled and the dogs start going and its back and forth. Infact I was so overwhelmed earlier that I found myself crying. Things went so much smoother before I ended up back in the hospital and now its all so chaotic.
The only break I get is when my husband gets home, and its really not a break, he takes care of the baby and I still have to tend to the dogs. So I have the dogs all day and they are hyper and whiny and then I have them in the evening. They act better then though because they are atleast getting attention.
They are not getting the exercise they are used to, I'm not supposed to do much activity until my next check up. And hubby just started a new job so he isnt around to take them on walks during the day. By the time he gets home and the dogs finally get attention they don't get a lot because I am exhausted.
My husband is totally against getting rid of the dogs and I really don't want to, but at the same time my child needs to come first and she does come first and by the time I get around to spending time with the dogs its so late in the evening. They barely get any attention.
I just feel so overwhelmed.
What should I do? I feel its wrong to rehome the dogs, both are rescues.
What would you do?
I do good with my baby, and I do good with my dogs. But together its so overwhelming.
Sorry for any typos of if this doesn't make any sense, I'm going on very little sleep.
Again I'm exhausted, so maybe I'm just overreacting at the moment. I love my dogs don't get me wrong.
Dabasset: Yeah well it sounds better when you say its your friend
Figured might as well tell it like it is
JenVT: Can't afford doggy daycare
And everyone that was able to help, helped the first week but everyone I know works
- Anonymous10 years agoBest answer
1) Make NO decisions while the hormones of having a baby are raging.
2) Find someone to assist you -- a neighbor, relative etc.. Whether that is by taking the dogs for some exercise or watching the baby so you can get some sleep.
One of the things I did when I had a baby and 4 dogs as well as a toddler was to play fetch in the yard with the dogs - the baby was bundled up for some fresh air and the toddler "helped" play fetch. I also taught my dogs to run on a lunge line ... in a big circle like they do with horses.
After childbirth I was an over-emotional wreck for about 6 months... but I KNEW it was a risk as a very close relative committed suicide 3 months post-partum.
You may want to ask some questions about coping with a new baby etc.. in the parenting section.
Hang in there!!! It WILL get better.
Edit: I missed the first question - my advice still stands, however.
- Anonymous10 years ago
I am no expert on this, never having a baby, HOWEVER...
You have a brand new child. You have so many hormones and chemicals being released by your body, and so many different emotions. You are tired. You are overwhelmed. You are stressed...
...getting rid of the dogs isn't going to rid you of those emotions.
Things get easier as time progresses. For right now... do you have a neighbor with dogs that you can set up a play date with? "Hey, lets throw our dogs in the backyard for a little bit to mingle and play?" A family member that would be willing to come walk the dogs? Or even look into hiring a dog walker. Many teenagers look for any job they can get, so ask around with friends, family, and co-workers. Maybe someone knows a TRUSTED teenager that wants to make a few bucks, would do it for a decent price, and then the dogs would get out of the house, go on walks, get some play time, without bothering you. Remember... this baby stage is temporary. Getting rid of your dogs is a permanent solution.
- 10 years ago
First of all, here's a hug: (((((((((((0)))))))))))))). I'm mom to an 18 month old, and I've been there with two dogs and handful of cats along with a newborn. The first few months can be so hard. And congratulations on the new baby.
One thing that worked for me was to bundle the baby up and tuck her in a wrap or sling (I used a wrap when she was really small - we started going out for walks with the dogs when she was three days old when I was released from the hospital - you get some funny looks when people ask, but whatever...). Assess your comfort level with this first: I back onto an open area where people walk their dogs leash free so most of my walks were as easy as opening the back gate and walking with the dogs so it was easy for me. The wrap and sling are great because they snuggle the baby right up to you and keep both hands free for leashes. If the dogs are large and not great on-leash and you are limited to leashed walks you may be less comfortable in the firt few weeks taking them out especially if it's icy. If the dogs are smaller or well-behaved on leash, then go for it. Feed, change, dress baby, and put her close to you in a wrap and head out. Even if baby was crying when I first put her into the wrap she was usually asleep within a few minutes. These walks can be sanity savers for you - exercise for both you and the dogs (nobody says you have to go fast or far in the early days) and crying-free time for you and baby.
If you're not up for a walk yet (check with your dr but go with your own gut feeling and common sense - I was out walking but slowly 3 days after a C-section), is a dog walker feasible? If you can talk a friend or relative into it, great, or hire someone if not, it's probably well worth the limited expense to give you a bit of a sanity break in the middle of the day, and will have the additional benefit of the dogs having their minds and bodies exercised which will help calm them down a little.
Another option if you have a close friend or family member nearby (someone you trust with baby for a an hour) take the dogs out yourself, without the baby. This is REALLY hard to do in the first month, but once the baby is a month or so old you'll have a bit of a routine and will be able to leave baby - at least while she's napping - with someone you know well.
Another option might be a local doggy daycare. This is more expensive, but might be worth it for the first few months if expense isn't an option. If there is a place that isn't out of the way for your husband on his way to work, he could drop the dogs off at a doggy day-care on his way in and pick them up on his way home. They'll come home tired out, and you can have some much need rest time with baby.
Some other cheap or free ideas are 1. Buster Cubes and other toys that dispense food but make your dog work for it. When I had two dogs I had to put them in separate areas when they had their Buster Cubes or they would fight over the treats, but you'll know if that's necessary for your dogs. :) You can even serve their meals in these and make them work for their dinner, pushing the cube around with their nose as bits of kibble fall out one at a time. USes mental and phystical energy - a big plus. 2. Quickie obedience training: even if you're not up for walks, have the dogs do some minor obedience training session to help use those doggy brains. Sit, down, sit, down, sit, stand, sti, down, paw, sit, down, paw x3 or 4 is plenty. Again, the wrap or sling is your friend here fto keep baby close to you and content.
Finally, part of what's going on with the dogs is stress in adjusting to the upheaval in their pack. When you get a few moments' peace, think about what type of (loose) schedule would work for you and try to stick with it. The dogs will adjust faster if they know that mealtime is always at such and such a time, they get let outside at x time, and so on.
I hope that helps you a little. Best wishes to you and all of your family, furry and otherwise.
- JenVTLv 710 years ago
Call around to get the name of a doggy daycare near you. Send them there while your hubby is at work until you can get back on your feet again. I did that when my second daughter was born for about 3 weeks as I had complications as well and it was perfect. My hubby dropped our dog off on the way to work and picked him up on the way home and the poor bugger was so tired out from playing all day he didn't have the energy to act up. This will all pass as you get used to the baby and start to feel better.
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- Anonymous10 years ago
Hire a DOG WALKER.