Is this part of the story okay?

“Come back!” I said through my teeth. “Hey, uh, *** . . . *** . . .” I started to call him back but didn’t no his name. I knew it started or sounded like *** but I couldn’t remember. “It’s Ashton.” He called back. I could hear the bottles he was knocking over and the clamp, clamp of his shoes on the chewing gum... show more “Come back!” I said through my teeth. “Hey, uh, *** . . . *** . . .” I started to call him back but didn’t no his name. I knew it started or sounded like *** but I couldn’t remember.
“It’s Ashton.” He called back. I could hear the bottles he was knocking over and the clamp, clamp of his shoes on the chewing gum pavement.
“You mean asshole?” I shouted and jumped from one foot to another. Should I go? Follow him? My body decided before my mind could. I was following him – knocking over bottles of empty bear and some full of liquid, which I didn’t think was beer. “Ew!” I slipped over and fell on a pile of old rags. They stank like cheesy feet, sick and alcohol mixed with BO. But then it moved.
“RGHH!” It grumbled beneath me and I felt the blankets; now hard, lumpy and moving.
I screamed and fell off the blankets on to the disgusting floor.
“What are you doing?” The man’s head popped out under the mass of blankets. He had one eye shut and the other was hardly open. Stench radiated off him in a vile way and his beard was probably full of flees. We went far away from the shopping centre, round the backs of the town. I knew they were like this, but never new it to this extent.
The man reached over and put his dirty hand out but it also had another hand wrapped around it in a tight iron grip. It was Ashton’s hand and he knelt down right in front of the old mans face. All I could see was the back of his curly brown hair and the old mans face looking up at Ashton with wide eyes. “Don’t even think about it!” He almost growled it – low and deep.
I heaved myself up. “Ashton,” I cried. “Come on!”
He slowly got up and gripped my wrist with the other hand. He pulled me onwards clearing the path of bottles, and god knows what else, out of the way. I looked back at the old man, whose face hadn’t changed, and got a cold icy shiver that blasted through me. Was he dead?
Finally getting out at the other end, I saw why he wanted to drag me through hell (literally) to get here. There was a big space full of rotten pumpkins carved with evil faces that smelled sour, and trees that had twigs pointing out like wrinkly fingers. The trees covered the space to make it even darker. Beyond this space, countryside filled for miles, hills, lakes and mostly forests.
Grabbing the camera from around my neck, I stood holding it shakily. “Get in the picture, do something, quick!” I just wanted to get out of here. The thought about having to go back through there and pass the probably dead old man, made me shake even more.
“Relax, Rowan.” His stiff face unclenched and he became relaxed as if he was convincing me as well as himself. “You get in the picture,” he said holding his camera at the ready. “You already look scared out of your skin. Now, how about leaning against that tree and putting one foot on the pumpkin?”
I hurried to the wrinkly tree with wrinkly twisted branches protruding from everywhere and the pumpkin I had to put my foot on was hard.
“Good,” he moved around to get different lighting and so did I to get different positions. Each snap, snap, snap of the camera was like the tick, tick, tick of the clock – which meant that an hour had to be over soon. We had walked here, had the little (I mean big) accident in the alleyway, and now we were shooting the photographs so that would have all at least taken up about, hmm, I dunno, twenty minutes of our time – ugh!
“Okay, your turn.” I walked over and shoved him forward into the scene.
“I’m the photographer and no way am I posing for some crappy . . .”
“I need photos too.” I pointed to myself and then re-picked my camera up from around my neck.
“Yeah, but he didn’t necessarily mean people in the picture.” He walked closer to me.
“Yeah, but your going to have all the good photos and I’m not.” Jeez, I sounded like a right whining baby.
He laughed. “We’re partners, remember?” elbowing me a little.
“Whatever, lets just go. I’ll say that I forgot all about my camera and we'll use yours.” I let the camera dangle down around my neck and started to walk back the way we came.
“Hey,” I turned around as Ashton called me. “Let me go first.”
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