Does femininity mean 'weak' when a man posesses it?

And should it be changed or embraced? For example, I feel like a man in every way except my sexuality. I am bisexual and find myself attracted to masculine guys. I never had a dad only a step-dad who bullied me from age 2 to 13 - which is when I was put into a foster home and felt happier, but sometimes, really confused, depressed and anxious with a really low self-esteem for what I had been through. I'm still a strong person though and i'm much better now at 23.

I've been seeing a psychotherapist for 7 months now and she has helped big time. She sometimes gives me the impression that i'm not necessarily bisexual but i'm herterosexual and just need a father figure??

I want to just be myself and become more a man, but a lot of people say that if a man wants to receive anal sex, then there is nothing more unmanly than that, and he is in actual fact destroying his masculinity and unnaturally going against himself.


10 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    Society imposes male and female ideals on men and women, and those who don't adhere to them are accused of being less of a man or woman. Rather than trying to live up to these expected ideals, people would be much happier if they could just be themselves without worrying how others see them. If you're naturally feminine you'll never be truly happy or comfortable if you try to make yourself someone you're not.

    Your psychotherapist could be a little more understanding too, and she can't possibly define your sexuality for you. She is also guilty of imposing on you the ideal of what it means to be a man, instead of letting you be yourself.

    As for the sex, again you're going against society's accepted idea of male and female activity, men are "supposed" to penetrate not be penetrated but you're no less of a man just for wanting something that makes you feel good, and knowing how achieve it.

    You could save yourself a lot of anguish if you simply live your life for you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Masculinity in women is more accepted than femininity in men, but neither is a sign of weakness. Keep seeing your therapist if you feel like she's helping you. Whether you are bisexual or not, there is nothing wrong with you. Your bedroom likes and dislikes have nothing to do with how strong you are. You're clearly a very strong person to have come through what you have. Be proud of who you are and just try to relax. You will figure out who and what you are in due course. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    I was bullied as a kid too, my dad seemed to specifically dislike me compared to all the other kids. Maybe it's because I was the oldest, maybe it's because I wasn't his child. (I technically have a half-brother, and half-sister)

    But it was torture and it almost led me to suicide. But I didn't grow up wanting a father figure, I grew up looking at all father figures with spite. I thought it was normal for a kid to be treated like that, I thought it was normal for a kid to hate their father. It didn't make me want to be gay, and it didn't make me like masculine guys. I've liked some pretty feminine acting guys out there, and some masculine ones, and I don't need somebody telling me it's because of my abusive step-dad when I know it isn't true.

    I think, a lot. I'm pretty much my own psychiatrist because I'm able to detach myself from my thoughts just enough to get why I'm acting a certain way, without being emotionless.

    I've thought for the longest time "You need to be more of a man." but it was because I thought no guy in their right mind could like a skinny sixteen-year-old kid with social anxieties. And more likely than not, the last one was more important than the first one. I got over both, but I didn't become any more masculine, I became more secure with who I am as a person.

    You don't need to be masculine to have confidence, people say that I have the mind of a girl half the time. (One girl joked that I'm a better girl than she is). But I'm mentally androgynous, I don't think "That's to feminine for me to do." or "That's too masculine for me to do." I just do what ever I want to do. (Besides clothing, I like to wear "guy's clothes")

    There's nothing wrong with embracing your personality, and there's nothing wrong with not being masculine.

    If a guy's having anal sex, it doesn't make him feminine. There are some pretty "macho" guys being the bottom, and it doesn't make them any less masculine.

    Have more confidence, that's all you need. Being masculine doesn't guarantee that, accepting yourself does.

  • 1 decade ago

    i'm a very dominant guy who is submissive in sex. i've had depression since i was 15 and now i'm 36 but i found that i'm still Masculine and not in any way a weak person, i've got a high ranking job, a great boyfriend and plenty of respect from my staff.

    so in short if you take it up the bum like me you can still be very Masculine don't listen to those who bring you down.

    Source(s): my life and my evidence is my life and three homes
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    What if you find a woman who has dominate, masculine qualities? Wouldn't that balance things out for you. There are devices she can wear to use on you. Just a thought and an option.

  • 4 years ago

    I rather have been analyzing and taking notes on Venus and Mars. Venus has traditionally been women and Mars for men yet now, further and further women are allowed and DO assert their Mars, the jobs are dealing with a sluggish evolution.. Mars/sunlight are the masculine planets which to me ability,,, putting forward your self, going after issues, outward expressions of self, or outward movements. Venus/Moon being the female planets ability to me the receptive end of issues, how we get carry of. sunlight/Mars is going out... Venus/Moon get carry of in.... For now, it is how I interpret it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    that's ridiculous, i know for a fact that there are straight men who engage in anal sex.

    and im gay and Most of the time i don't act feminine, but there are time where for some psychotic perverted reason that i actually like acting like a flamer LOL

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    due to the bad past experience you had no one can blame you but if you are attracted to females as well as males in this case you need to sit down and think, then decide and if you are confused get help from prof. clinics.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    yes it does

    from ancient greece until today the person penetrated is the weak Feminine one

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes it means you're weak. Or "submissive" would be a better term.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.