LGBT: I fancy my friend, but it'll be so hard to tell her, any advice?

About 6 months ago, my best friend admitted she liked me, as more than a friend. I didn’t feel the same way, but didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying so flat-out. I told her I wasn’t sure, and could she give me a week to think? It was meant to stay secret, but she had told me by writing a very sad poem about falling for your best friend... and posted it on the internet. I thought it was really sweet, and said that in a comment. At the time I was too oblivious to realise she meant me >.< I only realised a few hours later. Eventually, some of our other friends saw it and started making fun of her, a lot, and me for thinking anything ‘lesbian’ was sweet. So when it got really bad and she seemed upset, we’d both just walk away. BUT then they started asking us (very loudly) if we were going out, soon practically the whole school thought the fact we WERE dating was fact. I couldn’t take it and distanced myself from her, and all the friends followed me.

I still feel so awful about that, but she forgave me, we are friends again, put it behind us and she has said that she doesn’t feel that way anymore. Those ‘friends’... we don’t call them friends any more.

HERE is the problem (finally! Sorry bout all that reading). I’m pretty sure I really like her now. I get the irony here, missed my chance :( I keep daydreaming about kissing her. I’m starting to feel awkward talking to her about anything but mindless stuff. I’m not sure if she likes me... but she hasn’t dated anyone or commented that she likes anyone since me. When I give her compliments, she seems really happy, more so than when other people do. I’ve been on holiday with her twice to a house her family rents near the coast, once before she confessed and once after. She said she thinks it’s so much better when I go as well, and she hates going without me. Then again, the town is pretty empty, and going out there by yourself or with your parents would be quite boring... There are more things, but this is MORE than long enough already.

Should I tell her how I’m feeling? And, any tips on how to bring it up? We’re both very shy and embarrass quite easily, I think that’s why she confessed online. I’d rather say it to her face, but I tried once before about a week ago and completely wussed out. HELP!!!

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best answer

    your "other friends" sound like boots!

    it was good of yous to walk away

    i think she probably still feels that way and only said she didnt to get things back to normal

    maybe you missed your chance, but not check and see if there is still hope. shes not gonna push you away, she knows exactly what your going through and you will feel better, and she will help you through everything.

    she invites you on holidays, thats a good sign, she loves your company 24/7

    tell her how you are feeling, your hearts telling you to, and you don't want to miss another chance with her.

    just get her alone one day, maybe say "come here" and hug her. but dont let go. then tell her (whilst still hugging) that you need to tell her something. then tell her you love her, just straight out.

    you won't regret it.

    good luck dude. please, tell me how it goes, i reli want to know :)

  • 4 years ago

    This is what I always see happen in the movies, go up to the guy that is cheating and tell him you've caught him in the act. Threaten him and tell him that if he doesn't confront his gf about it then you will. She does have the right to know if she's being cheated on and if I were her I'd dump his damn @ss! If I was in your position it's kind of hard just to stand back and let my friend be treated the way she is by this guy. But if you would rather not get caught in all the drama then it's your choice. Hope this helped :)

  • 1 decade ago

    You need to invite her round at some point or go round to her house and just when you're alone upstairs or something, say that recently you've started getting feelings for her like she did for you. She can't find it weird or anything because she will DEFINITELY know how you must feel, she went through the same thing.. In these situations the chances are that she still does have feelings for you.

    If by chance she doesn't it may feel a little awkward at first but you two will get through it by the sounds of things, you've been through a lot together and hopefully everything really works out.

    Good Luck with it, hope i've helped [:

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hello. I don't know if you only want LGBT people to answer but anyway I will answer you, and I will try to help.

    First of all I would like to tell you that you should never pay attention to what other people think about you or about your feelings. It's your life, you can do whatever you want and you don't have to feel ashamed of it because that's part of your personality and if you don't respect yourself, anyone will. :) They are not going to die when you die, so why do they want to live your life? :) Just be happy :)

    Ok, in relation to your answer, yes, I think you should tell her what you feel, she did once, although she put it on the internet but she said it, no matter the way. I think you would be very happy together, I think she still likes you because she had said very beautiful things to you :) And if she does not feel the same for you any more, I don't think she'll get angry with you because she was in your same situation a few time ago.

    I think we all should tell what we feel, both good and bad things, because life is so short and we should try to have a happy life and to tell things when we can, because she is not going to feel the same for you for ever, and you can't expect that she will always be waiting for you (Maybe she does it but we don't know) so don't let the opportunity scape, I think it would be a very good relationship and you have the right to live your life like you want, don't forget it!

    Source(s): ;)
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  • 1 decade ago

    Owww, reading your question brings me the chill.

    Probably because I have so liked so few girls before but rejected me.

    And how I wished they'd turn around one day and say they made a mistake.

    So when I read you question, no matter how long, I continued reading it.

    Secretly wishing that you were talking about me. And you were one of

    those girls I have passionately desired.

    I guess, she'd take you back. It's not quite a long time yet.

    She hasn't met many other girls to replace you.

    So yes, go for it.

    When you are alone, hug her tight.

    Don't let go, and tell her that you need tell her something...

    Goodluck! Tell me what happened next, ok? i really want to know.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Tell her I mean you two have already gotten through alot together & you said sorry & she forgave you so if everythings alright between you two just tell her & if she rejects you then at least you'll be able to feel closure & move on. I doubt she will though. Good luck. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    I think when you both are alone, you should just tell her. Not 'I love you' but somewhere along the lines of 'Ever since......_____ I've started liking you more than a friend.'

    I also think that you should start thinking bout your sexuality.(possibly)

    and tell those friends of yours who take the mickey to go take a hike! :D

    I hope I helped, and sorry If I didn't! xP

  • 1 decade ago

    GIRL! i'm a lesbian. and ive hit this stageee wayy before. lol id say you tell her, because if not then it might be too late. just talk to her in person and say i have something to tell you. then pull her close and kiss her; but prepare yourself emotionally. you never know if it is too late or not. if you dont want to kiss her just yet. i say write it all in a note then hand it to her. :D

    Source(s): been there..i told her through email, but she's lucky that you have feelings for her back. not many of us have that. deff. tell her.
  • 1 decade ago

    I think you should tell her. I mean your friendship survived the whole school harrassing thing so I'm sure it'll survive this as well.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    in this case I think actions speak louder than words, and sounds like she still likes you so get her alone and sit really close to her and see if anything more happens.

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