So the question is....who's YOUR daddy?
This is REALLY long & please have the heart to read it.
I'm 18 years old & my dad passed away 10 years ago (when I was 8 years old) from a heart attack. In the last 10 years, my mom has had 5 long-term relationships (that I'll admit to, anyway).
The first guy "Bob" lived (& still does) in another state & we only had 3 real visits w/ him. He would've been an okay step-dad, except for the fact that he made me very uncomfortable & still does. When I was 10 years old, he kissed me on the lips twice...one was before he left for the airport when he visited us & the other was really random & for some reason we were alone in his room. I have kept in touch w/ him through the years, simply because I'm friends w/ both of his sons (who are 18 [almost 19] & 13 [almost 14]) & also, I have a hard time saying goodbye to people. This man began dating a woman who had a daughter who is my age (2 days older actually). My friend (his son) & the woman's daughter became quick friends & I somehow befriended her too. We have remained really close friends throughout the past 3-4 years & I'm actually more close w/ her than I am w/ my mom's ex-boyfriend's son. We have talked on several occasions about this man & she said that when she was 14, he asked her what her bra size was. Also, he took pics of her & her friends swimming & barely paid any attention to his girlfriend (her mom). "Bob" has said some things over the past few years that are leading me to believe he's a potential pedophile. The biggest one was I told him a while back that a former teacher of mine would often stare at my chest & "Bob" goes "Well, it's kind of hard not to notice...". I have told my mom about these things, but she says it doesn't matter now since I'm 18 & if he was a pedophile, he probably wouldn't want me since I'm no longer jailbait. WTF?
Okay so then she dated another guy (this isn't in the right order I don't think) who was an alcoholic & a rocker. I was pretty close w/ him, though my mom didn't tell us until way after they broke up that the guy was slightly abusive.
My mom dated another guy who ended up breaking up w/ her because he couldn't handle us kids (I have 2 older brothers), which was dumb because he raised 2 kids of his own & had a granddaughter.
The next guy ended up being a total a**hole & completely ditched her after she was diagnosed w/ epilepsy. She almost died in summer 2005 & whenever she'd call him from the hospital, he'd make up excuses as to why he couldn't visit.
In June 2007, my mom started dating a guy who is now my step-dad. They dated for a little over a year before he proposed to her & they got married in a judge's chamber in December 2008, but we moved in w/ him in August 2008. Things were fine from the start, but soon went downhill. The best way to sum it up is now they're about to get divorced because they argue every single day (almost literally from dusk till dawn), my step-dad is a former military man & an alcoholic & just recently started becoming abusive & my mom is just as abusive back. This weekend, my step-dad went to stay in a hotel (he's currently there) because my mom had to call the cops on him for abusive, except they didn't arrest him.
I have been looking for a stable father figure for the last 10 years since my dad died & I've really been lacking. This has caused me to have crushes on & even love a handful of authority figures (I've loved 3, crushed on MANY)...teachers, administrators, police officers, etc. People get onto me about it, but they just don't understand.
Where can I find a stable father figure? because it's really started to affect me emotionally & I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever have anybody I can look to as a potential father figure. What would you do if you were in my situation?