What to do when a stepmother passes away?

My step-mother just died on Saturday. It was very unexpected and it happened in my father's home. Her birthday was Tuesday of last week and my father's birthday is this Friday. He is taking it really hard. She had already ordered his gift and gotten it through UPS a few days before she died. He knows... show more My step-mother just died on Saturday. It was very unexpected and it happened in my father's home. Her birthday was Tuesday of last week and my father's birthday is this Friday. He is taking it really hard. She had already ordered his gift and gotten it through UPS a few days before she died. He knows what it is already but will not touch the UPS box until Friday. She had told him the day before she died he was 'not to touch it until Friday'. The night of her death she sat my father's birthday card on the kitchen table, unsigned. He has been hounded since Saturday by hundreds of family members. My sister and I have stayed with him and I came home after the funeral to get a few things done. My dad is really reserved and doesn't like to show much emotion in front of many people. He won't even let it all out in front of my sister and I. The thing is---I'm unsure of what to do from now until his birthday. I know I need to visit him on his birthday. However, I feel as though he needs a little time to grieve by himself. I don't think he's had much time to soak it all in yet. He doesn't have a working DVD player and I know one gift was a DVD... I figured he may want to watch the video by himself. My family keeps nagging me to stay with him every second of every day and they are probably annoyed that I drove an hour home to take care of a few necessities here. I am in the middle of remodeling and several other projects that I need to finish to survive.

I just don't know how to tell my family that I literally cannot LIVE with my father for a month straight, even a few more days... He's not emotionally unstable or anything, as much as my sister and I try to explain... They really overexaggerate everything. I know that if I don't quite literally stop everything in my life for the next month they will think I am evil and uncaring. I know he doesn't mind my company at all. It may actually help him out a bit, but I think I would want my own time for a little while.

Anyone have any suggestions? Is it proper to stay with someone all day and all night after something like this has happened? Is there anyway I can go about giving him the space he needs without seeming as though I do not care to my very large and critical family? Am I evil for giving him his space?
Update: Thanks for the input. I have asked him several times if he'd like me to stay longer/help him out/etc... But he declines... Also, he has been eating healthily and my family insists he's not eating enough. I have watched him eat every single day since her death and left him a huge plate from the... show more Thanks for the input. I have asked him several times if he'd like me to stay longer/help him out/etc... But he declines...

Also, he has been eating healthily and my family insists he's not eating enough. I have watched him eat every single day since her death and left him a huge plate from the dinner after the funeral service. He didn't attend the dinner because he actually wanted to be alone for a while.

The family also seemingly scolded my sister and I for letting him drive his on vehicle to and from the service. He also insisted on driving while my sister and I rode with him...

I guess I shouldn't really worry about their opinions knowing that he's okay and is going to continue to be okay... It's just that there are a few bad apples in my family who LOVE tragedy and and gossip... Even labeling my sister and I as uncaring for being unable to be with him all hours.
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