Yes. We do feel terrible guilt. A lifetime of it. I would not wish this pain on anyone.
I surrendered my child for adoption, a child conceived in rape. It was the biggest mistake I ever made. I was in a very traumatic situation.
When I was in labor, I called the agency, told them I could not do adoption, to stay away from me. They sent an attorney to the hospital who was at my bedside screaming at me. I was heavily medicated, and I was very shaken from the difficult birth, this was LESS than 24 hours after I gave birth.
The attorney told me that I was not the mother, there was already a mother that had a nursery all fixed up and I would devastate her. I still said no. He then told me because I "considered" adoption that I was deemed an unfit parent by the courts, and my baby would be a ward of the state and go to foster care and that they would fight me tooth and nail and I would never see my baby again.
I was told I would have to come up with tens of thousands to pay the agency, the adoptive parents, and foster care back. I was called a slu*, promiscuous, and told I should've kept my legs closed. I was bullied until I signed the papers. He promised, if I signed the papers, I would at least get to see my baby through open adoption. Another bold face lie. Open adoption is a lure they use to get women to sign, and it rarely is honored by the adoptive parents and is NOT enforceable in a court of law.
I signed the papers in a hysterical emotional mess. I don't call this "selfishness" on my part, I call this buckling in because of extreme pressure and unethical behavior on the part of the adoption professionals. These people EXPLOIT women in horrendous situations and make a PROFIT from it. And it works.
I am not by any means the minority. This happens every single day in newborn adoption. Young women are bullied out of their children by an industry that sells the children for profit. People should be up in arms at this exploitation and violation of the human rights of mother and child. Instead, they call us selfish, and they call adoptees ungrateful for being ripped from the arms of their mother.
When is it EVER ok to put a price tag on a human being? Agencies are merely traffickers of tiny little babies. They make BIG BIG money on the sale of babies....and young mothers are disposed of like trash once they get the goods. What agencies do is criminal.
btw, the "better" home that the agency chose for my baby, was an alcoholic home where my daughter became their human punching bag. She was abused her entire life, and would've fared much better with me. So, all of this heartbreak was for nothing but $$$.
Young girls are DUPED and bullied out of their babies with very unethical practices every single day. Newborn adoption needs to end.
· 1 decade ago