What is wrong with my ex bf?

We parted ways five months ago. He told me he couldn't make me happy. I have looked at it like this: We have lived apart for two years and it got to me and broke us down. I felt sad, I couldn't see an end in sight, it was stressful and it just got worse. We stopped communicating properly, misunderstandings happened on the phone and eventually it all fell apart. I have strong feelings for him thought still. I think he is an amazing man. However, we are not together and this is my perspective. We do still talk to each other once a week and see each other every three weeks at his request. I have cancelled on him a few times though because he began to pick at me and it hurt. I felt low enough and thought it was best we had time apart to heal. However he always gets back in touch first and doesn't seem to understand how he can be. Last time I saw him he had decided he needed a holiday and wanted to come to London. He asked me if I wanted to take a day off work and go to an exhibition. I said sure, i was feeling stronger and then he ended up staying at mine for four days. He turned up wearing my necklace that I had left at his. I knew I was going away to a festival so I suggested coming down the following weekend. He got really angry saying that I had caused a bad atmosphere and that he thinks I’m on a different page to him. He said it was an inappropriate thing to ask. He felt I was pretending everything was all right and that things were not better between us yet but it smacks of one rule for him and one rule for me. When he finally left he said doesn’t want a relationship at the moment. That wasn’t why I had suggested hanging out, it had been fun but I understand why he felt the way he did and later on I felt quite down about it. Anyway, whilst at the festival he text me again saying he was in London and he needed a friend, he wasn't sure if i was away, please let him know if i was in london. He knows I’ve been feeling low and so the next day when i hadn't replied because I turned my phone off so I couldn’t be contacted he said i hope your ok. This I think was because I hadn't replied. He then said later that he really wants to speak to me, he hopes i'm not ignoring him and to reassure me and help me. I have been saying I’m ok so I don’t think he is being honest in some way. He said he is sorry if this is all a big misunderstanding. I deserve better. He then left a voicemail saying he needs to tell me something. I don’t really know what to think. What is going on with him? Is he depressed? He couldn’t cope with the relationship but he can’t seem to cope with life without me either even though it would be healthier if you really think they are not the person for you to cut contact. I don’t know what to think. Anyone else?

5 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    i think that's an awful lot of bother

    to be even thinking about it is hurting my head.

    You don't need this.

    You will realise that when you:

    .... delete this fella from your landline/mobile phone/computer

    ....don't talk to him for a month and are still living

    ....refuse to be in touch via other people or other sources

    ......and don't (ever) choose to contact him yourself, ever again.

    I mean.

    Get a life, a good life, a fun life!

    Go out. Go swimming and laugh. Go dancing and laugh. Read and book or watch a film and laugh. Just laugh and get this man out of your hair, once and for all.

    Even old age alone would be better than this fella.

    And old age alone is not ( even remotely) what you have waiting for you.

    Loose this man.He's draining all your energy

    You have a fab life out there.

    Go on and grab it.

    Delete him NOW!

  • 1 decade ago

    Nah, he's not depressed. This guy wants all the benefits of a relationship, but without the actual relationship, and ONLY on his terms. He wants to have sex and hang out, but only if he gets to call the shots, and he doesn't want you to have a voice AT ALL in it. Which is why he gets angry when you suggest hanging out. He wants to keep you at arm's length so that you won't try to pressure him into an actual relationship. In layman's terms: You're being used! BIG time!

    I know it's confusing because of the things he says and does; it SEEMS like he cares, but then he just up and acts like he doesn't. That's because he DOESN'T. If he wanted to be in a relationship and be committed to you, then he wouldn't be acting like a jerk - plain and simple. Guys don't get "confused".

    He's right about one thing, though: You absolutely DO deserve better (though he's only saying that so you'll think he cares about you and will be more willing to have sex with him again). Personally, I think you should call him up and tell him that he's been a real prick to you and that you're done taking his crap...then hang up in his face and neevr talk to him again. Period. You DO deserve better!

    Good luck!

  • Cala
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You won't move on whilst this guy plays such a big part in your life. If he's your ex then cut the contact and get your life back together. If he's going to be such a big part of your life then he's not really your ex and your relationship should be progressing, not taking one step forward then two steps back.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think you both need to sit down and talk about what you are both feeling. If you are both on different pages then its usually because the two of you are not communicating properly. You both sound confused in what you want. x

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  • 1 decade ago

    He's doing enough to keep you around in case he decides he wants you back. So move on to somebody else.

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