My action (tell his wife the truth) is terrible in Western countries?

Sorry to come here again with my story. But I feel very sad when that man blamed on me and seems I did something wrong. In fact I just want him to come back to his family and they will Happy together if his wife can forgive him.

I met a French man who lives in Rochester NY, in a dating website. In his profile is separated man. One day he wrote email to me said he was interested in my profile and I gave him good feeling I am nice woman. I wrote back email to him. He told me that he separated with his wife 5 years and had an unhappy marriage and already sent divorce dox to the court just waited divorce finalizing. From US he sent me a lot of love card, gifts. He called me chat with me everyday and always told me that he missed me and love me so much. He tried to understand Vietnamese culture and tradition and seemed to be my soulmate. His sweet words moved my heart and I falled in love with him and he decided to go Vietnam to see me. He saw me twice in my country and we was very happy together. He said to me he never met so beautifull, nice and well educated woman like me. He is 56 years old and older than me 21 years. He seems very nice man I never thought that he cheated on me. I love him so much with all my heart. He just bought the ticket and planned to see me third times in my country. Before he came here I asked him about his married status he still lied on me will divorce but will delay for a while to clear up his mind??? He sweared with me he loves me so much and will marry me. I feel be cheated and then I searched in internet I found his wife in Facebook. I decided to asked his wife if he separated 5 years and divorce sent to the court as he said. His wife was very shock and upset about her husband. She told me to send her all the proof of her husband affair. I think his wife should know what kind of husband she live with, when her husband cheated on her so I decided to tell her all the truth and sent her all the proof I have. I also told her before me her husband already loved a Chinese girl when he worked in China. When he left China that girl cried a lot. I knew this story because my boyfriend told me this story himseft. After talking with his wife I knew that they never been separated and he cheated on me. I feel so sorry his wife because I did not know my boyfriend cheated on me about his marriage status at the beginning. I feel hurt and broken heart, because I give my heart for a wrong man. He lied and cheated both his wife and me. I can understand his wife must in pain and hurt so much about his cheating action. Poor her she did not know anything till I told her the truths. That man called me blamed me why told the truth to his wife and why I sent to her the proof and why I destroyed his family? I said to him : You cheated on me you did not appologize me why you blamed me? Why you cheated on your wife? He said I am Vietnamese and do not understand Western thinking. He said to me my action (tell the wife truth) is terrible action in Western countries. I said to him, "I will not lower myseft to love a married man and stole happiness of other woman, I just do the things I should do and give a peace to my soul. Your cheating action is terrible in my country and affect our tradition. I feel sorry your wife so I sent her the proof. Your wife forgive or not forgive you is you and her problem. Please do not contact with me again and do not go to my country. I do not have cheating boyfriend I will not accept any cheating man." I am so sad but I know I should leave him. He loves NOBODY, he is seftfish and loves only himseft. His family has been bestrayed by him in 23 years. I did believe this man already cheated on his wife many many times. Because he often told me that: His ex girl friends never care about his marriage status. So before me he must cheated a lot women. I just could not understand why he has a nice wife, 3 lovely children and does not respect his family, chose the way to cheat a little woman from other side of the world.? Did I destroyed his family? Why an old man can cheated on me like this? I feel very sad and can not understand why that man blamed on me. My action (tell his wife the truth) is terrible in Western countries? Can I believe there is still honest man in this world? I never met great liar and cheater like him in my life. All the men in internet are cheater?

Please kindly let me know. Thanks for your answer in advance.

10 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Did I destroyed his family?

    No, he destroyed his family. I have absolutely no patience or sympathy for women who sleep with married men, but when you had no idea he was married, it is not your fault.

    Why an old man can cheated on me like this?

    Because he is a selfish, cheating bastard.

    I feel very sad and can not understand why that man blamed on me.

    Because he never intended to leave his wife, ever. Married men will tell their other women anything they want to hear to make them feel special, but since they are atrocious liars, you can't believe a word of it.

    My action (tell his wife the truth) is terrible in Western countries?

    There are a lot of people here like to stick their heads in the sand and look the other way when they see infidelity. Until they have actually experienced it and understand what it can do to the betrayed spouse, to the marriage, to the children, many people don't tell. That does not make it right. I would have done exactly what you did.

    Can I believe there is still honest man in this world?

    Lying cheaters are far outnumbered by good and moral men.

    All the men in internet are cheater?

    Hmmmm, lots of great men right here on YA. Read their answers to prove it. But you really need to be careful meeting men for relationships on here. There are lots of men that will take advantage of you, you just met one.

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. You are young and beautiful and he is an old man. Lots of nice young guys out there that will treat you good. Tell the old guy to taking a flying leap off a donut. (Old being relative to your age.)

    By the way, being separated means nothing. Most of the time when couples separate, they are working on the marriage in some way. They are not done. Rarely do married couples start openly dating during separations so if you are sleeping with a separated man, he's probably trying to hide it from his wife. If he's morally ready to date, he should have divorce papers in his hand.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Not all men are alike honey. i met my new man in the internet too just recently but i am not expecting too much either. i am taking my time to know him exactly even though he proposes marriage within 2 months of being together. You aren't just lucky enough to have a man of principles and honesty. Telling the man's wife about the truth is the right thing to do. I salute you for having courage to investigate and showed the wife proof of what was happening. Don't blame yourself either for the man's predicament, it's his choice and his karma too. Don't lose hope girl. There's a lot more coming just be very careful next time. Forget that old bastard and make a new start with another hope that you will find someone who will gain your trust and love. goodluck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It is never wrong to tell te truth. You did the right thing and it is clear to me that this evil man deserves all he gets. He has lived a totally selfish life and never cared how many broken hearted women he left in his wake. Like many other wicked men, he obviously searched the web for someone like you to prey on and he will, I have not the slightest doubt, continue to target unsuspecting women for as long as he lives. Such people deserve no sympathy, and although I am sorry for his poor family, they were bound to find out sooner or later, so don't blame yourself.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hi you did the right thing. You need to have faith that not ALL men are like this and I hope you will one day meet someone that will make you happy. It is better that you found out the truth about this man sooner than later.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hello co!

    You did the right thing, and no he is lying, that is not acceptable in western culture. He was living a lie and you helped to expose the truth. Did you destroy his family? No, you just told the truth and HIS actions destroyed his family, NOT YOU.

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  • 1 decade ago

    not at all!!!

    What you did was the right thing to do. I am sure it was apreciated.

    If they decide to split - it's not you who broke them appart - it was his actions.

    And also if they divorce - she will have lots of advantages because HE cheated, and she has proof of it thanks to your honesty.

    Not all men on the internet are cheaters. There are some good guys, I am sure. But most people who go on internet dating websites are those who have problems finding women around them The reasons can be very different!!!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You did not destroy his family, he did.

    You did the right thing by telling his wife.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You did the right thing.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You did the right thing.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    so you told on him after "me luv you long time?" how sad. i dont believe your motives for one second. you are as vindictive as any western bit**, i mean princess.

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