Am I Wrong For Feeling This Way?...I dont feel guilty?
(pls read all of this carefully :)
I just want some really good opinions especially if you have been in this situation before. My mother and father are "supposely" getting a divorce, it is mainly issues with my mom, it has a lot to do with the relationship she had with her father.
It is kind of complicated...
Anyways, she just told me that he is might be moving out and I felt so much weight lifted off of my shoulders as soon as she said that. I tried not to smile because she looked sad. I did comfort her.
He is always stressing me out about something new, or something that is not done or something that needs to be improved with me and I just get so tired. Literally exhausted to the point I do not want to do anything, not work, no hobbies, no friends, not even eating...I do not feel like doing nothing but sleeping.
I told him to not criticize or stress me out over the semester and guess what my GPA went up, HIGH!
Before you say "Oh, talk to him" NO, not everyone is willing to change and I am just as stubborn, I am not going to adjust to his attitude towards me either. I am starting to get content with myself as I get older and yes if I think I am right I argue him down and vice versa (of course, if I am wrong, I SHUT UP!)
When he did stress me out I used to get ulcers, headaches, etc. once agian, I talked him already and he is not willing to change, so I do not need that advice.
This is all I want to know,
am I wrong for feeling so good about him moving out? My parents were seperated for about year and I was so happy, it was weird. She asked me if I missed him and I just shrugged, although I would stay in contact with him.
I just felt so free I did more, I basically kissed the ground my mom walked on, lol, not literally but I did everything she told me to do around the house, etc.
I just want ppl to be nice to me and I won't be a ***** toward, them, anyways, what your opinions guys! Thanks
P.S. Did I already say I already talked to him? lol
Thanks you guys (I never gotten so many good answers!) I do love him very much and appreciate the fact that he sees my potential. It seems like ever sense I have not taken advanced classes (when I was a kid) he has become very hard on me. I used to make me cry but I know I cant change him, I think we do need our space. Of course there will be good times I miss, he makes me laugh a lot and gives pretty good advice.
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
the only thing i can say is WHY ARE YOU LETTING HIM STRESS YOU OUT! that's your choice to accept that or not!
before you suggest others to change for the better you should do it first.. and you control your stress not your dad!
i know it's hard to understand but if something is new then you should prepare propperly for yourself oh no dad's going to flip! and listen to him stress .. and say okay and move on!
his issues are not yours unless you want them to be (what you have been doing)
but they don't have to be (learn how to not make someone's stress your own)
it's hard it won't happen over night but you can do it!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I don't think you should feel guilty at all. If it's something that makes you happy, then you shouldn't feel bad about it. My husband and I are going through a divorce, and when I made the decision to tell him I wanted a divorce I felt a weight lifted off of me. I knew it was what I had wanted and what would make me happy in the long run. I felt like I *should* feel bad for wanting a divorce, but I don't. I know it's not exactly the same situation, but I can see how you are relieved and happy, even though you feel like you *should* feel bad. It would be good to keep contact with him, since he is your father, and it will probably make your mom happy, but if things work out better without him directly in your life, then I don't see why it would be a bad thing. Not all families are the happy, well-adjusted family you see on tv and it's ok if things work better with you two apart.Source(s): Personal opinion.
- LJGLv 61 decade ago
You're not wrong for feeling relief when something that is difficult is removed or changed.
The thing that concerns me is that at your age you're not willing to try things more than once and obviously you feel as though you must always be right. That's an awful lot of arrogance for one so young! The stress, etc., might not be so much from him "giving" you stress, as you being so unwilling to look at anyone else's POV that you can't possibly take that kind of discussion or open mind with him.
But in your current situation, the answer to your question is no, it's not terrible. But you WILL probably regret this period in your life later on.
- 1 decade ago
Just wanted to thank you for reminding me to give my kids some credit when it's due. I know it can get to a point where as a father your always looking for the best from your kids and sometimes you don't realize how awesome they are. I'm sure he loves you but I think his looking out for you to be the best you can be got in the way of him letting you know how much you mean to him. When he's gone from your life for a while I'm sure you will see that he is a better guy then when hes there nit picking you all the time.
Maybe it is for the best, thats why you dont feel guilty.
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- 1 decade ago
You shouldn't feel bad about being happy he's moving out. It's completely natural to get tired of your parents. And it's not unknown for kids to not like their parents either. I think you should tell your MOTHER about this. Let her know that she may be upset he's leaving, but you think it would be best for you and would give you a better comfort level at home. Or something like that to know that she should enforce the decision more or just be on an understanding level with you. But also don't shun your dad. He does deserve attention. So don't think you've gotten rid of him forever and will never have to see him again. Believe it or not, there may be things you'll miss. And just make sure you spend like one weekend a month with him. It'll cut into your time, but you'll thank yourself later on. Trust me.
- KristalLv 41 decade ago
I don't think it's wrong for you to feel this way. I've never been in this situation, but my best friend was. Her father was a complete hinderence to her life, along with her sister's and mother's. He was mentally abusive (and I suspect physically, though she doesn't talk about it), and he drank all the time. My best friend so happy when she found out her parents were finally getting divorced. It's now a safer and more comfortable environment for her mother, sister, and self.
- 1 decade ago
Sometimes you can not help the way that you feel. NO you should not feel guilty at all father or not he sounds like he is really bringing you down and if you are going to be happier and more productive when he is gone then good for you. By any means should you stop talking to your father regularly but some people it’s best to deal with in small doses.
- 1 decade ago
No you're not wrong. And in cases like that, separation can be the best thing overall. Spending time with your dad is important, but as he starts stressing you out. Stop coming as much. And in the case of a visit where he is nicer, make sure to mention it to him.
- alonaLv 43 years ago
turn the placement around on your innovations. in the experience that your boyfriend had cheated, you will possibly desire to comprehend, precise? That way you would be waiting to make a suited selection. So shop thinking approximately that and recover from your cowardice approximately telling him. he's accomplished not something incorrect so he ought to be the single to ascertain no count number if he thinks that's well worth staying with a cheater. For the checklist, you ought to have decrease all ties including your ex as quickly as you broke up. An ex is an ex for a reason and the actuality that he unexpectedly became greater involved while your boyfriend became away is a extensive warning easy: you're precise, he's a foul piece of paintings...yet with the help of giving in, you at the instant are not likely any greater desirable. you may desire to anticipate your boyfriend to return living house and then tell him head to head. Apologise and promise to anticipate him to ascertain no count number if he desires to nonetheless be with you. If he does, then you definately ought to count variety your advantages and paintings to earn back his believe - step a million may be telling your ex to leave YOU on my own and not in any respect communicate to him back. If he breaks up with you, then placed it right down to gaining expertise of your lesson. And nonetheless tell your ex to shove it, because of the fact how do you recognize he won't do a similar undertaking including your next bf? and because he became chuffed to cheat with you, how do you recognize that, in case you 2 come back jointly, he won't cheat ON you?
- christina cLv 71 decade ago
feelings are neither right or wrong. they just are. it's what you do with them that makes them right or wrong. are you in the right for feeling the way you do? only you can honestly answer that question. the right answer for you might be different for someone else in that situation. you are entitled to feel any way about it that you want to as long as no one is harmed by your reactions and/ or behaviour. sounds to me like you have done a lot of thinking on this issue and have come to an honest decision. one that you can live with and i congratulate you for an adult one.Source(s): psychology classes in college (lots of classes on the subject) and personal studies even now.