Wow .. sounds like you're really having a miserable time & it also sounds like you could be pregnant .. to a guy who just doesn't want to know you anymore .. what a position to be in.
Your homelife situation also sounds really terrible & I'd think .. being pregnant, it's about to get even worse. You do need some friends .. I think not the sort you're used to. I'd also, even by email or whatever way, make contact with local child welfare authorities & ask them to come have a look at your homelife & also consider asking your stepmom even today if you can, to help you do that, because if the adults in the house are not good to you now, they might be worse to you as you ah .. grow. You're young & you're being abused mentally in such a place as you're in .. & abuse is something that can be touched by laws .. but you've got to have the courage to make a step & to make sure it becomes known to people in authority, or it just won't change at all. If you truly are pregnant, then this does not seem like a good place to be bringing a baby up. Not at all.
As a matter of fact, it seems like it's the lack of love at home by those adults, which has you meeting guys who only want sex, then just run off. It's true for so many in spots like you're in .. you're not alone in that at all. There are many who simply don't feel loved at home in the right ways by parents & such .. & many end up cutting .. or doing other horrid, drastic things to themselves .. even running away from home. It's not right for anyone to end up like that .. it's not right to have the feelings which have young people wanting to end up that way .. it's not right at all.
Please .. if your stepmom is going to be leaving .. effectively leaving you in a house with no-one who really loves you or no-one who really gives a damn about what you do or what happens to you .. then please talk to her now & ask if she can help you contact the right authorities & even find you a better place with better people .. if need be. Please ask her to help .. any way she can. Maybe she can contact a few groups or such who will come over & see how life is there & who might put reports in front of a Judge in a court, which might help you find & have a better life ... but in reality, you've got to do something. Don't be weak .. wanting to cut often is weak .. it's the simple way out .. it's the chicken's way out .. I don't believe you're a chicken .. I just don't.
Contact me directly on firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to talk more. I'm an old man now & I live in Taiwan . I can't do much for you at all other than just talk ... & maybe give you some ideas or things to think about .. it's what I do best. I want to hear from you again if you're willing. You can see I'm willing to listen to you .. so no need to be shy. I'm talking to you at your level now .. so you can choose.
But please, do choose ..okay? Please do.
My source? The Book of Hard Knocks.
· 10 years ago