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Unsure of how to deal with my daughter's growing attitude problem?

My once sweet adorable, perfect 10 month old daughter has suddenly developed somewhat of an attitude problem. I though that wouldn't come until she was at least 2 :) If I don't give her what she wants the very second she wants it, she'll throw a fit. She'll throw her body on the ground and scream. She refuses to let me spoon feed her anymore. She'll grab the spoon out of my hand and throw it across the room. So I gave up on that and she eats by herself. If she doesn't want to do something (like have her diaper and clothes changer or get in her car seat) she'll try desperately to get away and try to hit and bite me in the process. She's turning out to be annoyingly stubborn and it's not so cute anymore...especially in the grocery store when I'm trying to put her in the cart and she's screaming and flailing around. I'm not sure of how I should handle it. My husband seems to think that spanking her will do the trick, but I stand firm on my notion that she's way to young for that. Maybe if she was 3 or 4, but definitely not a 10 months old. Should I ignore it? Everyone I ask tells me to spank her, but I'm not putting my hands on my 10 month old infant. Help!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    Spanking an aggressive child won't help anything so bravo for you for ignoring those people. Your daughter is just growing up and developing her own personality and likes and dislikes. My niece is19 months old and she doesn't let anyone feed her either, sure it makes a huge mess but she's asserting her independence which is perfectly normal and healthy. I use the ignoring tactic, my niece knows exactly how to push her mommy's buttons and just when to do it, too. When she starts acting up because she wants something or just wants you to react ignore her and talk to another person in the room. My sisters tries to spank and slap her, too which never works- tell your husband that, if anything it just makes her more determined to tick mommy off. Just do what you need to do at the grocery store, whether she's screaming or not, distract her if you can with paper or making faces but don't let her screaming embarrass you. Anyone who has kids will understand, sure there may be some that glare and tsk you for not doting on her or buying her toys to quiet her, but they don't a thing. What I found works really good with my niece is to look her in the eye and say, "No" to whatever she's doing, like if she's jumping on the couch I'll make her look at me and say, "No jumping on the couch." Make your face very somber and stern and she'll get it... she behaves better for me than for her nana or mommy who spank and slap.

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  • kny390
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    First of all, stop the biting and hitting. A gentle swat on the hand may do, or put her immediately in her crib and shut the door. The screaming will get louder, but she will know that you mean business and quit.

    At 10 months she is trying to do things for herself. Let her feed herself, it won't hurt. And she may be ready to start giving up a bottle if you are still using one.

    Anything health related like diapers, putting her in a car seat, or medicine; take a no nonsense attitude yourself. And just do it. She may still protest, but it sounds like your are trying to reason with a 10 month old. It can't be done.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My son started acting like this at 7 or 8 months. He is a HANDFUL! Every diaper change is a fight, every time i have to take something away he throws a fit and throws himself onto the floor or screams. Just don't give in! When this happens it's when you have to transition from mothering to parenting! Parenting can be rough. At her age the non-spoon feeding is fine. She's old enough not to use a spoon now.. but I wouldn't teach her when she throws the spoon she gets to feed herself. If she throws the spoon I would point at her and give her a firm "NO-NO!".. then take her out of her highchair and sit her on the floor right away. They generally hate this. That's how I got my son to stop hitting and scratching while he was nursing. If he slapped me in the face I de-latched him and sat him on the floor. You would think I tore his heart out!!!! Then I waiting a few seconds and picked him up and kept nursing.. if he did it again I did it again and each time left him on the floor longer. Or you can hold their hands still if she doesn't like that. It's really a constant battle and I think it will be until they are out of the house! It's just beginning!!! I don't think spanking for these things will do any good. To me that's just lazy. It's easy to just whack them.. it's hard to set rules, limitations, structure, punishments and follow through consistently... but in the long run I think it raises better children.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I have a 19 month old he was HORRIBLE! We didn't hit or spank him all we did was tap him on the hand and say no sir. he cried for a couple seconds and would try it again but we done the same thing and after that he quit. You will have to tap her hand and tell her no to show her you are in charge when she relizes she cant get her way every time she will calm down i promise. It wont happen overnight but she will get better over a couple weeks.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Im 13, i remember my mom telling me the same thing about myself, i love babies/children and are around them all the time and babysit them.

    She might grow out of it, or maybe shes getting what she wants too much, (not accusing, just throwing out possibilites). I grew up getting whatever i wanted and i still fight with my mother constantly whenever i dont get what i want. Half of the time im doing things for myself but if i want something only she can get for me i freak out. Talk to someone you know that has children and maybe they know what you could do.

    Shes probably just going through a phase, or a VERY early terrible 2's :)

    You might want to talk to your doctor if things dont change to make sure shes not being irratible because of some sort of hidden rash or something.

    I hope i helped, Good luck! :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    my daughter was the same way. And no..no spanking right now.

    what did I do? I ignored her...what you have to realize is..at this age..they have no way of expressing themselves, nor have control over they're actions when they are upset. So you have to give them signals..smiles and kisses and happiness when they are being good and no reaction what so ever when they are being bad.

    now the food feeding thing is okay..so let her feed herself.

    but diaper changes..simply change her diaper, let her scream and fit

    clothing..same thing..getting in the car seat? same thing...just do it, as quickly as possible,..but remain stoic the entire time..ignore her..no comments like..its okay or ...mommy is almost done..simply say nothing and simply do nothing.

    when it comes to the grocery cart..I put mine in and went on with my shopping..while she was screaming away..I used to get hung up on those who were watching me..now I learned..I ignore them too :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    Mine is the same way right now and she just turned 1. IMO they are doing it because they don't have the words right now to tell you what they want and they don't know of any other way to get their point across. What I do is just hold my daughter's hand firmly and tell her we don't throw things or we don't act that way. I am hoping in time that she will come to learn what is expected of her.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your daughter is trying to tell you something but its not like she can talk that's her way of communicating

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  • 1 decade ago

    use a belt

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