What do you think of this small piece of writing?

This is just a little piece of writing that I *whipped* up this afternoon. (I know, sounds like a poor excuse, but I truly did only do it this afternoon!) Please leave a comment on what you thought of it and what could be improved. Thanks ~floo I stepped outside and was disappointed when I found the... show more This is just a little piece of writing that I *whipped* up this afternoon. (I know, sounds like a poor excuse, but I truly did only do it this afternoon!)

Please leave a comment on what you thought of it and what could be improved.

Thanks
~floo

I stepped outside and was disappointed when I found the weather dull and overcast. Clouds carpeted the sky, meshing together to block out the sun. It was chillier than I expected and I drew my thin jumper closer against my shoulders, wishing regretfully that I had brought my thick woolen coat with me. Rubbing my hands quickly together, I walked briskly out of the small front gate and down the footpath, eager to get out of the cold. I had timed leaving home precisely so that I wouldn't have to wait long before the bus arrived at the stop. It was a good thing I did so. It was too cold to be waiting around in this weather and I didn't want to get a chill. I walked to the end of the street and waited under the small roof that the bus stop provided. It was quite ridiculous really. When the rain pelted down the shelter was useless, the rain just came straight in; I might as well just stand out in the rain. That's exactly what happened. Within the short two minutes I waited, it started to rain. Heavy and relentless. Infuriatingly heavy and relentless. I looked upwards and cursed the sky, pulling my wet hair up into a bun. Through the sound of the battering rain, I heard heavy footsteps from behind me. Michael was walking casually along the footpath shielding himself from the rain with an umbrella. Damn. Why hadn't I thought of getting the umbrella? “Did you forget to dry yourself when you were in the shower this morning Josie? You look awfully wet.” He said sarcastically, brandishing the umbrella temptingly at me. I just rolled my eyes at his poor excuse of humour. Well, he was wet too, but still not as dripping as I was. I tried to snatch the umbrella from him, but he whipped it backwards, leaving me grasping at bare air. Sometimes my brother really irritated me with his childishness. I turned around to face the road and saw that finally, the bus was arriving. It was too late now to head back home to get fresh clothes, I would just have to dry out, during which I would probably catch a chill.
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