Husband is verbally attacking me for leaving this morning to a friends house for safety...?

He came home at 630AM total f**cked up, drunk and whatever else... wouldn't tell me where he was, so I asked him to leave... arguments insued and I left with the dog for safety reasons. No sense in arguing with a drunk, especially when they are verbally abusive. Called a mutual friend and coworker of his for help, I have no friends in the city and family lives in another state. I just needed a place to stay for a while until he sobered up. This "friend" said I could come over to sleep on his couch but cannot have my dog, so I went back to drop the dog off at home and my husband was furious with me, said he called and told my husband I contacted him... my husband continued to verbally attack me stating I am a whore and I am just going over there to have sex with him, then he cornered me in the house to try and not let me leave... I was scared and was screaming for help. I got out of the house and literally couldn't breathe. A stranger stopped me in the street asked if I was ok and if I needed the police, he stood with me and helped me calm down a bit because I couldn't even talk I was so overwhelmed. I told him no and I was going to a friends... I stayed at his place and slept on the couch until he had to leave for work. We had a little discussion in which he told me that he did not want to be involved... I was crying and told him I didn't want him involved in this, its just that I needed help and needed somewhere to stay otherwise I would just be walking around the city at 7AM crying by myself... I just needed help, no involvement required. He then told me that I should not have confronted my husband when he came home, as he was already drunk and there is no use in trying to talk to a drunk person. I agreed, but also stated that I only requested my husband to take his belongings and find somewhere else to sleep because I was not going to tolerate this. So I came back home later, only to find my husband still sleeping... I am in the midst of getting ready, deciding what to do next and killing time on YA... he wakes up and immediately starts screaming at me that its over, he wants out, I'm a bi**c and a whore because I called his friend... I think he may still be drunk. I did not respond, didn't even look up and completely ignored him.

I know this is his own problem, he went out to who knows where and did who knows what until 630AM and now he is looking for any reason to be angry at me.... this always happens, I become the bad guy whenever possible, but in my mind right now all I can think is that I went to the friends house for safety... I was not going to stay in the house while he was verbally attacking me and cornering me... he also hit me in my face 3 times telling me I was a bi**c and so on...

I don't know what to do next, I don't know how to respond, I don't know where to go. help...

Update:

Ok... I need advice about what to do with my dog, with my bird and my job... I want to leave. But I don't want to risk my job, but I may have to, huh? As far as a battered shelter... what about my animals, what can I do with them?

Update 2:

I didn't start the argument, actually all I did was try to avoid the argument by asking him to leave... either way, again.. I'm the bad guy, right? unbelievable... no matter what I do, its wrong with everybody. why? should I just sit like a lump on a log and let him come into the house drunk at 630AM... why? i feel I had every right to tell him to go sleep elsewhere... he was drunk and for that very reason I did not want him there, because crap like this would happen! Thats why I left... to stop an argument, and in my efforts to get away I got hit and choked.. and again, I am being blamed for it.... thank you.

11 Answers

Relevance
  • .
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You can call the cops on him and have him arrested so he wouldn't be there or you could call the shelter and ask them about your pets....and what about your family members in the other state? would they be willing to come out and get you? thats what one of my friends mom did she drove to another state and brought her back when her and her boyfriend broke up

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    You have to get out. Please! Do you have any family at all (even out of state) that you can call? Don't be ashamed or afraid to call them. It's better than being beat up, thrown onto the street or worse. He won't change. I promise you that and no one deserves the treatment you are receiving. You are worth more than that. I'm sure there is a woman's shelter in your town that would help you and not let him find you. Call 911 and ask. You really need to document these abuses anyway. This way if he get's worse and or does anything again they will know and be able to help you. Let me tell you something that just happened in our town one week ago. A beautiful young woman, her precious little girl only 2 yrs. old and her friend that had come to visit were murdered by her boyfriend who is also the father of the little girl. He was DRUNK and probably on drugs and he shot all three. It's torn up our town, her family, his family and the family of the friend. He destroyed hundreds of people in one instant. Do you want that? He will eventually graduate to that level of violence. If you don't have children then go home to your family now and start over. Just call anyone and say "I need help desparately". They will help. You do not need him. He is a bomb that will go off soon. Sweetie please get away from him and take care of yourself.

    P.S. Take your animals to the local animal shelter and tell them what is happening. They will watch over them until you can come back for them. It would be better to give them to a good home to save yourself. Just keep telling yourself "I deserve better. I am worth it". Good luck and God bless you....

    Source(s): Myself and experience of family.
    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Sue C
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    IF you can handle the place you're now living in, I would call the police IMMEDIATELY, tell them of what you went thru last nite, & that you want him served w/a restraining order. They WILL serve him. Once he has a restraining order against him, he w/NOT be allowed w/in 500 ft. of you at ALL TIMES, he w/NOT be able to contact you in any way, IF he does, call the police & let them handle it. You DO NOT have to accept the unacceptable. I've gotten restraining orders in the past, & have felt completely safe. We BOTH KNOW to argue w/a drunk gets you no where but just throws more gasoline on the fire so to say. He surely is NOT going to do what you ask him to do. You're doing nothing but arguing w/a bottle of alcohol which w/end up getting you no where but no doubt physically abused. It is NOT worth it, HE is NOT worth it. It is NOT going to get any better, it is only going to get WORSE. I am a recovering alcoholic of 19 yrs., lived w/an alcoholic for 12 yrs. Alcoholism is a progressive disease & a killer disease. Hopefully he does NOT take anyone else along w/him. Get out of that relationship as soon as you can. Don't waste your life away on something that just CANNOT be. You at least do have a chance of finding happiness in your future. This is what you want to strive for. This is what you deserve. Get a restraining order to get him away from you, then work on getting him out of your life completely. You CAN do it. I did it, anyone can do it. Look forward to a future of happiness at a future time in your life. YES YOU CAN!!! I wish you the very best...:)

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Do not let ANYONE hit you. Get out of the house. Go anywhere you can and call 911. There is probably a battered woman's shelter in your city. Tell police can tell you where to go for safety. Grab a change of clothesand get out of the house NOW before you are abused again.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The shelter will help you kennel your dog and maybe your bird.

    It was a big mistake to start an argument with a drunk, and however much you want to justify it, that's what you did. Waiting until he was sober would have been much more productive.

    EDIT: Asking him to leave was incredibly confrontational. Ican't believe you refuse to get that point. I'm not blaming you, I've been hit myself. It's not your fault. I'm advising you how NOT to escalate a situation. The way you chose turned out badly for you.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Go home to your family. Time to divorce this asshole! If you have no money for a bus ride or whatever, ask your family to wire some. You might want to find a battered women's shelter to stay at until you can leave. They might be able to help a lot.

    I urge you to go immediately!

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    What do i think? I think your being kinda drastic, but what do i know.

    How long has this been going on and how often?

    Is he an alcoholic? is he mean when he is sober?

    Do you love him? does he love you?

    Ask yourself these questions.

    I would probably lock him in a room until he sobered up, if you could manage that, and when hes ready you could tell him how you feel about what hes been doing and decide then what your gonna do.

    Edit: on second thought, be very careful.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Ask for the number of a battered womens' shelter in your area. You need to end this relationship and end it now, and you need help to do so. He is more than verbally attacking you!

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Call the police, he hit you. He should be arrested, end of story. File for divorce while he is in jail.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    He needs professional help and you need to get him out of your life..

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.