Confused over what to do with my suicidal teenage daughter?
Hello again, I have posted a question before but I'd like some solid advice.
My daughter does not like anyone touching her, does not like to be bothered and spends all of her time alone even when we have company. It is as if she lives in her own little world. Amongst other things, I've found quite disturbing images on her computer.
Today, I was looking at her calendar on her iPod to check out when her driver's ed appointment was, and I saw written "kill self" as a task for yesterday. Of course she didn't, but I found that a bit odd to place on a calendar.
Last night she, my husband and I were having an argument over dinner. It lasted around two hours, she was in bed the entire time because when my husband started trying to reason with her over dinner, she was already in bed. This was around 10:30. It ended shortly before 1 AM, and my husband and I went to bed around half an hour later. As I passed by her room, I could hear her crying violently (yet not loud enough to be heard except right outside her door) and whispering what sounded like "please kill me," to herself. I don't know how long this went on but I went into her room before I went to work in the morning and she was not crying.
She argues constantly and is constantly belittling me. It really takes a toll on my self-esteem. I am a bit sensitive and she knows that, yet she never stops arguing, she has even said on a few occasions that she hates me. She wakes me up when I'm meant to go to work, claiming that she feels sick but can't talk loud enough for me to hear (I wear earplugs in the morning) explaining it, so when I tell her to speak up she just leaves. She does this multiple times and after a while, I admit I get very angry. I have said things about her being worthless, lazy, trashy, sl*tty and that I hate living with her but it was always after an argument. When I do get physical with her it rarely leaves bruises, if it does they are usually not even very large. I've played mind games with her and manipulated memories she has but the reason I am saying this is because I am a changed person. I am getting help and have been in therapy for two months.
Anyway, I have no idea what to do with my daughter. I've been logging her chats for the past few weeks and she's still talking to the older men, I've even found some disgusting personal pictures of theirs on her Received Files folder. I have no idea if she sends them anything, but I don't know how to stop all of this. Kids need the internet, they need their internet, if not for fun for school.
My daughter is 16 now, almost an adult. Any advice appreciated. If you want more information, here is my older question: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApSRz...
- sunstarzLv 41 decade ago
It definitely does sound like she is depressed. I don't know how the right way to bring it up would be, but maybe you should try and get her to talk to a counselor or something. It sounds like this is more than you can handle on your own.
Of course, the best thing that you're doing right now is getting help for yourself. Try to not lose your patience as much, and really show her that you are a changed person. You mentioned that you've said things about her being worthless and getting into physical altercations, so I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't trust you a whole lot right now. Only time will build up that trust again.
Maybe you could look into an occasional group therapy for everyone, it sounds like maybe the whole family needs to learn better communication. My family did for a little while, and as much as I hated it, in the end things did get better.
Does she still have friends that she hangs out with or goes to see? Or does she spend all her time alone?
Maybe this is something that you could talk to with your therapist, and they might have some helpful ideas for you as to how to bring up the subject, or if they could put your daughter in touch with someone to talk to.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I honestly think you need to talk to your daughter about this.
She may just need to know you love her.
I've been through this before with someone very close to me, she kept to herself and would hide out in her room at all hours crying, and she was actually cutting and burning herself.
It eventually ended with her trying to actually kill herself.
She was in fact depressed, and was put into therapy. She was a little older than your daughter is now when this all happened.
You should sit down with her, talk and be understanding with what, or lack of anything she tells you, let her know she can talk to you.
Kids do need the computer, for school, but they do not need one in there room, with the door shut. Not when they are 16 years old.
- 1 decade ago
first of all don't hit her or argue back it just makes it worst just give her space and privacy and if shes suicidal then talk to her tell her she can talk to you but don't go sneaking around and invading her privacy