Adopted People and Adoptive parents,?

Do you feel the love from a biological parent and child is stronger or different to that relationship of an adopted child/adoptive parents?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best answer

    I was adopted as a baby by the two most loving, caring and supportive parents a child and young adult could ever wish for. I also have a younger adopted brother.

    I don't think my biological parents could have loved me more than my adoptive ones. My brother on the other hand never really settled, and acted out alot as a young man.

    The only grandparent I ever knew, my paternal grandmother, couldn't bring herself to love us like the others, despite the fact that I was her first grandchild. We always knew it but it was never discussed.

    I now have three children of my own, and it was a strange moment when it dawned on me that this tiny little baby was actually the first blood relative I had ever met!! I love them and often compare myself to my mother (adoptive) and think it really depends on the individual parent and child.

    Hope this helps....

    I could chat for hours about it!!!

  • 4 years ago

    I am not an adoptive parent, but I have two biological children. I had a co-worker who adopted a baby from China. She was about 40 & her hubby too. The questions that went through my head were was she unable to have kids biologically, why not an American baby & how will they raise the child to be culturally aware of her heritage. So basically I was VERY curious. I never asked her these things, it was rude or prsumptious so I kept it to myself. But what I'm saying is, when something is different from what people know - they're curious. Sure it's none of their business but it's simply human nature. So I think it's normal. But I also think you simply want this baby to have the homecoming your others had. You want her to be accepted and loved by others as your family will accept & love her. THAT is a normal reaction for ANY parent facing these questions. Just have a few answers ready to go when the questions start, it will also help her accept that people are interested in her adoption as well, she may even answer the questions FOR you when she gets old enough! ; )

  • 1 decade ago

    I was adopted at 9 years old, having grown up in care till then. My parents (adoptive) are amazing, trying to think how to put this into words.... I love them more than I could love biological parents, as they CHOSE to have me. They already had 3 kids of their own, and knew that taking me on would change the dynamics of their family forever, yet took that chance and risked a hell of a lot.

    I met my birth mother when I was 14, long story short - biggest mistake ever (would have been better off living with the 'fantasy'). So, I think that on the contrary to your question, the relationship between an adoptive child and their adoptive parents can be stronger than a biological link.

  • 1 decade ago

    Different yes.

    Comparing the love between my child's biological parents and her adoptive parents is something i would never ask of her.

    She can love us both. If she loves her biological parents more, I'm okay with that. My love for her is unconditional.

    Dear Daughter rarely talks to her biological mother but when she does that love and strong connection is there, its tangible as if you could touch it. For my personal thoughts, I feel the love we share is one that grew over time with consistent and unconditional love on my part. That is the truth that i have experienced as an adoptive mom, hope i helped.

    Source(s): adoptive mom
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  • 1 decade ago

    The relationship I have with my natural mom (and the love it involves) is different from the relationships I have with my adoptive parents (and the love those relationships involve). I wouldn't say stronger. It's different. I don't compare the relationship I have with my adoptive mom to the relationship I have with my adoptive dad. My relationships between each of them is different than the other. Likewise with my natural mom. I love them all, and I'm glad to have them all in my life.

    Source(s): Living life as a reunited adoptee one day at a time
  • 1 decade ago

    I love both my sons with every fiber of my being, with every breath I take. My boys are 19 years apart, one is now 20, and the other is 20 months. I am actually cuddly closer to my youngest, who is adopted, and I think a lot of that is because I'm older, wiser, I have more time for him, and I know and appreciate how fast they grow up.

    My little guy is actually more like me than my bio son. My bio son is red-headed, build differently than me, and is very independent. My little guy has my exact shade of blond hair, and would pass for my biological child in a heartbeat. Their baby photos look similar in ways.

    I would take a bullet for either one of them. I love several other children around me very much also, but both of my sons' love is different. I love both my sons soooooo much, and even though one happens to be adopted, even his love is different than other children and babies I've been around, raised, and fostered.

  • 1 decade ago

    Nope.

    My adoptive parents loved me immensely and constantly. They had their issues but they did their best to be stable and consistent.

    My bio-mom is consistently inconsistent, selfish, childish, and plays hot and cold games with me, emotionally. She is grieving the chance to raise a baby and never really wanted a relationship with adult me. However, there's not a good way for her to come out and say it.

    I have known many adoptees whose reunions have gone similarly.

  • 1 decade ago

    adoption is big thing in my family as my mum is adopted my auntie and 2 cousins. i think from what i have seen from them is that they wonder what there biogical parent would have been like its nature. the horrible thing is my mums biogical parents refused to meet her. she will never know them but she knows in herself that she has all he love she deserves and needs from her adoptive parents!

  • Linny
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Although I feel the love is "just as strong", it is different than what I have with my n parents. How can it not be? I share their genes- we are the same- we look alike, talk alike, act alike, share the same personality traits, food likes and dislikes, even our political ideas are exactlt the same, even though we were separated a lifetime.

    My a Mom adopted me, then my brother, then had my sister. She loves us all the same, but there is definitely a bond they have that our mother does not have with me and my brother. I see it with my own biological children. People who have not given birth to their own children cannot comprehend this bond.

    You cannot dispute scientific fact. A newborn is physically and emotionally bonder with their first Mother. They know her voice, sight, smell...the way she breathes, her reactions to things, her heartbeat...they know everything bout their mothers. To say the bond an adoptee has with their adoptive mother is the same as the bond they have with their first mother is pure and simple hogwash. Our a moms were strangers to us. Do we love them the same? Yes- but it is different.

    Source(s): reality of an adoptee who is in reunion and knows simple biology
  • 1 decade ago

    I am both adopted and have adopted children. I can tell you from personal experience the love is strong between adopted parents and their children are strong, at least in our families. My husband grew up in a biological family, and did not feel love at all growing up. I hate it when people think that there should be a difference.

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