My husband got another woman pregnant?

A few months ago our marriage went through a very rough time. I had moved out, we had divorce papers ready to go. My husband ended up getting very sick and was in the hospital. I really didn't want a divorce and I felt that I needed to be there for him. He was in for over a week and we were able to rekindle our marriage. About a month later he told me that while we were apart he had slept with his ex twice and couldn't keep it from me any longer because I had a right to know. He told her he wanted to stay with me and pretty much had only turned to her because he was confused and hurt and needed comfort. She tried to say she was pregnant... then backed off and said no. Now, 3 monhts later after my marriage has been the best its ever been.. she comes out of the woodwork to say that she is in fact 4 months pregnant. She is playing games with my husband, going back and forth between saying she is getting an abortion and she is going to keep it. She already has one son she can barely take care of. My husband asked me if I wanted him to leave, if it was too hard on me. I told him no. The truth is I don't want my husband to leave. I love him and we have worked past our differences. He is my best friend. Have you ever been in a situation like this and can you offer me any advice on how to get thru this?

Update:

I think the hardest part for me is that we have only been married a year and we have no kids of our own yet... All the firsts that he will go thru with her... I feel like they are being stolen from me.

13 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best answer

    Wow that sounds very familiar. Except in my situation we werent on a break! I can only say that you have to go with what makes you happy. You might lose a few friendships along the way (if u decide to go back to him).. but if they were true friends then they would support you in whatever you decide.

    I know why his ex said that she was not pregnant-because this girl my b/f cheated with did the same. She was waiting until it would be too far along to get a abortion. She didnt want him to have the chance of talking her into getting an abortion.

    I think the best and most necessary thing to do is for ALL THREE OF YOU to sit down and talk. That way there is NO confusion in who your husband is WITH. And there is no confusing HE SAID/SHE SAID. When you're all sitting down together, see if he sits next to you and holds YOUR hand. If he sits in the middle and not very close,you may need to ask him who he wants to be with because he is making it unclear. Stay VERY calm and simply ask her what she expects from you both now that she is pregnant with this child. Does she expect to get back with him? And if she does, then ask him how he feels about it all.

    Most importantly-do not lose your temper. The little side girls LOVE to see when the wife gets mad. It feeds them.

    Goodluck :-)

  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds to me like you are right she is playing games with him. I would suggest to make sure that she in fact pregnant before you worry about anything else. Then I agree with everyone about a DNA test and then by all means that you can take the baby and raise it as your own. She can't give the child away without the fathers consent. Good luck to you both

  • 1 decade ago

    I know someone in the same situation and the other woman had the baby and the guy stayed with his wife. He is now paying child support and visiting the kid about 4x year, out of state. It's not a great situation but it is what it is.

  • 1 decade ago

    She is going to try to use the baby as leverage. That is why she said she wasn't when she was. To make it so she would be past the point of getting an abortion. Good luck because if it is his.. things are about to get very ugly..

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You both need counseling, you cannot get through this without it and he needs to cut all Communication with her, she is evil. The confused hurt needing Comfort line he gave you is bullsh*t and in future if he needs comfort he can turn to you or get out of the marriage but he cannot every go to her again unless he wants a divorce.

  • 1 decade ago

    You do what makes you happy. But I can tell you, you will live a life of misery if you dont COMPLETELY forgive him. Everyone is trying to be positive. But take the facts and You decide what to do with them. It's your life, and it will not be easy, I promise you that. Hopefully it isn't true. Yes, you have had stolen firsts. Will you really be alright with that? Good luck.

  • kitkat
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    No I haven't but my advice is to tell her that when the child is born get DNA tests and then and only then do you want to hear from her. Your hubby made a mistake but I have a feeling she is playing games.

  • OH NO, I am so sorry. This is tragic. Obviously I would make sure its his, but if you love him do not let anything get in the way. It will be hard but LOVE outstands everything. Ask GOD to help yopu through this.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Instead of worrying about your personal issues, you need to be making plans on taking this baby into your household and raise it in a loving and caring manner. Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you have worked through it with your husband you might consider taking custody of the kid.

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