Access and maintenance - long question but please help.?

Ok, big question but will try to keep it to the point. Haven't been with my child's daddy since before he was born. Initially access was once or twice a week for a couple of hours, now has increased to Monday for around 7 hours, Weds for around 5 hours and alternate sundays all day. I will be going back to work soon and will have to work Thurs and Fri. Explained this to baby's dad and he flat refuses to change access days, the reason being he already has his other two children, from a previous relationship, on mon and weds and it's easier for him to see them all at once. If they stay the same as they are now I will only see my little one for the whole day on tues and at weekends, this kind of defeats the purpose of working part time. I am currently getting £200 per month maintenance, I was wondering if this is average compared to other single parents.. Do you think he is being fair regarding access and if we went to court to settle this would I be better off and stand a good chance of fixing the access days to suit me rather than him. Thanks for any help.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    Hi honey i no some might say my answers wrong but its my opinion !! i feel HE should only have acces to your wee one when it SUITS YOU !!! so like you say it would be better if he see's your child say a thurs and fri then you TELL him this is whats happenening at first he might say no and he might not even visit but he will soon realise he is losing out so please put your foot down and say he can only see the child when it suits you !! he may even threaten court but to be honest a judge would side with you as you were/are willing to give access it just has to suit your work pattern etc !!! dont get into an argument with him just TELL him this is whats happeneing and as for it suits im to have all his kids at the one time is that so he has an easier life ??? be firm honey it will benifit you in the long run !!!

    i hope this helps x

  • 1 decade ago

    The most important aspect in all this is your child. There may be a chance that if you applied to the court for a variation on the current agreed contact arrangement given your new employment status, they MAY take this into consideration. However, they may also take into consideration the fact that your child is content with the arrangements as they stand and that this also suits your ex partner given the fact that he has other children. It really will be a case of you contacting your solicitor and for them to write to your ex partner setting out the situation as it stands, only then should you consider applying to the court.

    As for maintenance, it really depends on someone's personal situation i.e. net pay and also whether you in fact claim maintenance privately with your ex partner or through the CSA.

    The court will, at the end of the day, only take into consideration the wishes and needs of the child, not necessarily the parents. It is the childs' right to see the parent, not the other way around I'm afraid.

    Good Luck x

  • kelli
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I have to be honest with you and say although I may agree with what you're saying a court won't. They take into account the welfare of the child and not what the parents want or what suits them. The fact that your child spends time with with his/her brothers/sisters too which will end if the current access changes will probably mean that the court will not opt for any changes.

    As for the maintenance...I get £19 per week (£82 per month) for my son and his father owns a factory so I'd say thats pretty good!

    Source(s): Personal experience
  • 1 decade ago

    your best off trying to sort things out between you.

    £200 is a lot of maintenance my child gets £5 if he can be bothered to pay it!

    you seem to be on quite good terms with your child's father try talking to him again before taking things further.

    good luck xx

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  • fili
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    maybe you can both compromise and change only 1 day.

    200 seem little but it might be because he already has to pay for 2 extra children.

    maybe find a mediator

  • 1 decade ago

    Get a mediator...somone to go in and talk on your behalf to you ex and on his bahlaf to you. VERY hard because there is a conflict of interests and someone has to give in. Cannot his other kids swap days? Has he even asked?

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