Have you heard this joke? (kind of long sorry)?

Last night, i went with some friends to a new resturant. i noticted that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket . it seemed a little strange. when the bus boy brought our water and utensils i noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. then i looked around and saw all the staff had spoons in thier pockets.

when the waiter came back to serve our soup, i asked "why, the spoon?"

"well," he explained "the resurant 's owners hired a consulting firm to revamp all our processes, after severla months of analysis they concluded thatt the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. it represents a drop frequency of approximately three spoons per table per hour. if our staff are better prepared we can reduce the number of trips to the kitchen for spoons and save fifteen man hours per shift. As luck would have it i dropped my spoon and he was able to replace t with his spare the waiter commented " i'll get anohter spare spoon next time i go tot he kitchen this saves me from making a trip to fetch a spoon for you right now."

i was impressed i alos noticed there was a string hanging out of the waiters fly looking around i saw that alll the waiters had a similar string hnging out of thier flies so before he walked off i asked the waiter " excuse me but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"oh certainly" then he lowered his voice " not everyone is so observant...that consulting firm i mentioned also concluded we can save time in the restroom by tying this string to the end of or 'you know what' we can pull it out without touching t and eliminate the need to wash our hands so frequently this shortens our time in the rest rom by 76 percent."

"hhmmmmm....after you get it out how do you get it back in?" i asked

"well," he whispred " i don't know about the others....but i use the spoon."

18 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best answer

    That's awesome!! Wasn't expecting the ending. LOL

  • GargVK
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Really a funniest one>>>>>>

    What about this joke>>>>

    I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one.

    I honestly answered, "No."

    So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb, She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store. It was empty.

    "Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.

    Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?" she asked.

    Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.

    "Well, come on", she said, "We don't have much time."

    So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and POW, I was done within a few minutes. She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"

    I said, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

  • 3 years ago

    absolutely everyone see the action picture as solid because it gets with Jack Nicholson? he's a nicely time-honored novelist who's reclusive and especially plenty tells it love that's. there is this one section the place he's at his publishers and hes waiting on the elevator while the receptionist sees him and asks, how do you write approximately how women sense with such feeling, as she is touching herself on her brow and her chest over her heart. Jack rolls his eyes and neatly says, I take a guy, and that i do away with reason and accountability. Thats all there is to information women.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    too funny never heard it

    heres one for you

    A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.

    The son asks, "Dad is we poisonous snakes?"

    The father replies proudly, "Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son?"

    "Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!!"

    joke2

    The kids filed back into class Monday morning.

    They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.

    Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success."

    "Very good," said the teacher.

    Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."

    "Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

    Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said.

    "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

    "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

    "Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"

    "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.

    They all said, “This tastes like POOP!" Then I replied, “It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?!!"

    joke3

    A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a 100-legged bug) that came in a little white box which served as the bug's house.

    He took his purchase home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet.

    This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

    So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "HEY IN THERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME AND LEARN ABOUT THE LORD?"

    (YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS!)

    And a little voice came out of the box.........

    "I heard you the first time.......I'm putting on my shoes!"

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  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds very familiar but it still made me laugh a little!

  • 1 decade ago

    LMAO!!! That poor girl! That was so funny! I have never heard that one before.

  • 1 decade ago

    HA HA! Never heard that one, but it's cute!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    EEEWWWW!!!!! Hahahaha, that's a pretty good one, I haven'r heard it before!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes I have heard that joke, not in a long while. Thanks for making my day!.. part of it at least.

  • 1 decade ago

    yeah, i've heard it before

    but it's still funny! xD

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