Help is my 16 almost 17 year old son gay?
My son is very fem, and has never had a girlfriend has a lot of female friends. He has pics of male celebs all over his room. I walked in on him and a guy in bed watching a movie my son had his head on him and the guy had his arm around him. One time I walked in and the guy was pulling off my sons jeans, he told me that the zipper was stock and he was helping him. He has went to every school dance with this guy. Also they always drive to school and seem overly affectionate with each other. Is my son gay? What do I do?
- 1 decade agoBest answer
I would say he's definitely gay. The important thing is to realize that some people are born like this and you are extremely lucky to have such a special and unique son. If he hasn't already told you it usually means he's afraid or uncertain about your response. This is dangerous for you because it means you have let off vibes that could be somewhat homophobic, or you've shown non-support for gays. It probably isn't intentional- most people (especially parents) have an extremely misconstrued idea of gay culture, what it is to be gay, and life for a gay person. Once you realize it's an amazing, beautiful thing, you could not be more happy!
In my opinion, don't let it go on any longer with him being uncertain about your feelings towards the matter. You can give him a feeling of support by discreetly showing your support for gay people. Say something like "I think it's great how Obama supports equal rights for everybody."
You can probably show enough love towards him where he will come out to you. Otherwise he'll just take more and more damage emotionally.
- WACVET75Lv 71 decade ago
Your son is most likely gay or less likely bisexual. You should understand though that if he is gay or bi or even just exploring it is nothing you have done. Being gay is like having blue eyes you can hide them behind colored contacts but you still have blue eyes. Someone who is gay can try and keep it hidden but sooner or later they will have to face the truth. I have worked with parents and teens facing this. In reading your question I can see there is no panic and no negitive reaction in the way you have asked. You sound like you will support your son no matter what and that is the most important thing you will ever do for him. I would let him know you will love him and support him and that he can come to you with any troubles and with the happy things. Many young folks are not quick to introduce their partner to the parents, thinking the parents will not like them and blame that person for making your child gay. If you allow them to be open with you and your family it would be wonderful for all of you. You should though sit down with him and set some rules of the house. They do not need to be physically affectionate in front of the family members or other guests in your home and they should not expect that everyone is going to be as accepting as you are so they should be courteous enough of those people not to make them uncomfortable. My partner and I have been together for 29 years, other couples we know have been together for anywhere from 8 years to actually one couple is celebrating 37 years next month. Stable relationships are out there and he will probably date some, but you also need to impress on your son the importance os safe sex no matter what.
Good luck and give yourself a pat on the back for being an understanding person as well as a good parent.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
ok well im 17 and im gay and im trying to deal with telling my parents its not easy is scary and the fear of rejection is terrifying. the best thing you could do that i wish my parents would do or at leastt my mom is sit me down and ensure that its ok tell him you'll love him no matter what or no matter who he loves and its not like he can control it i no i didn't make this decision so be gay its not easy at all ppl say it was a choice but i ask did you have the option the day you were born giving you the choice to be gay or straight no either did he or any one else it will Prolly be a lil hard to overcome and awkward at times when hes bringing a guy home rather a girl it will get better over time i know this cause my boyfriend was going through this with his parents
- Mike SLv 61 decade ago
What is it you feel you need to do, & for what reasons?
The evidence you've presented seems to lean in that direction, however:
A) He's still really young to be locking him into a permanent box
B) What can you do? (Aside from either making him stop or educating yourself & supporting him once you've re-established a line of honest communication)
C) Figure out what it is that really bothers you about this potential scenario
& that's where I'd start, tho' B & C are kind of in a reverse order schematically
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
He could be gay, or he could just be bisexual but just not know that he likes girls yet. Homosexuality is not a choice, you must understand that. It is a trait one is born with. Gay teens suffer from homosexuality themselves, and sometimes they may not know that thy are gay until later on. whether your son is gay or not, you should still love him the way he is, and you must comprehend that if he is gay, he's not trying to be that way. Give him some time. Maybe he will have a girlfriend later on. Gay or not, he is your son, and it is your job as a parent to support him.
- taveraLv 43 years ago
For all the folk who think of Age is a enormous element,enable me show you how to comprehend it is not i'm 20 and proudly dating a fifteen three hundred and sixty 5 days previous that i like. Wenot having intercourse and we are keeping it secure yet human beings shouldn't motel to names like Pedo. those people who call me pedo and a loser are the only which will in no way locate love themselves. putting a love age is incorrect and should no longer be executed. some females act mature for there age and while you're no longer having intercourse with them intil they are 18 then choose for IT.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
What to do, oh my?
Well lets start out by being happy that your son has found someone who has made him happy.
And there is nothing wrong with being gay, lets remember that here.
Just be happy for him, don't let it get to you.
- 1 decade ago
well i guess the real question is how are you feeling about that.
Are you more worried about what your friends will think or about your child.
i feel the latter is true. You allredy know the answer.
you should get a good counsler who deals with this type thing.
most of all be kind.
- 1 decade ago
I Think Your Son May Be Gay
What Do You Do? Be Happy
You Should Be Happy That Your Sons Happy
Hope It Helped
- Don't Do SadnessLv 41 decade ago
He very well could be. Don't ask him about it, just let him be. He will tell you in his own time. Homosexuality is normal. You should be happy that he has atleast found someone. Lots of homosexual youth don't have anyone to turn to.