What do you think of this written piece I have done?

It is only an extract- Into my intoxicated, hazy sight appeared golden, precious sunlight. A beauty so radiant, so warm and teasingly obvious- an English rose. But every rose has its thorns, and as the wonder before me teetered closer, closer… her perfume of sickly sweet alcohol filled my senses and choked me,... show more It is only an extract-

Into my intoxicated, hazy sight appeared golden, precious sunlight. A beauty so radiant, so warm and teasingly obvious- an English rose.
But every rose has its thorns, and as the wonder before me teetered closer, closer… her perfume of sickly sweet alcohol filled my senses and choked me, like ice burning my throat. Her blood red nails positively screamed “harlot”; dark hair fell like a waterfall over her face, shielding mirrors for eyes. She would see every inch of my soul, but I knew I would never see hers truly. Yet my body was yearning for her and, like the sunlight, I could not breathe, live, exist without.

The sensation of her lips brushing against mine sent tingles down my spine, my mind full of emotion. Guilt? Panic? Regret? No, it was too early for regret… Her touch sent me into a glorious spiral of pleasure, as she slowly swept her lips up and down my body, sending waves of burning desire for this scarlet woman planting poisonous kisses across my stomach.
As if in a trance, guided by her grasp on my hand I stroked her milky-white thighs, soft as stolen silk, and with the other exposed her perfect breasts from within the confinement of the suffocating, suppressing, satin dress she wore. Ma catin chérie gasped with delight as I caressed her body with care; sinning had never felt as satisfying as it did when her eyes started burning with fiery lust, pulling me closer, closer… Lord, I tried to stop, I tried to let go, but her tenure was over-powering. Her perfectly flawed body became entwined with my own, pressing her seductive mouth against neck, her hot breath getting faster and faster… Oh, sweet rapture.

x
Update: It is a transformational piece that I have had to write asthough I am a charecter from a book I am studying.

He is very sexual, has mixed feelings for this girl, very elaborate & romantic etc.
Update 2: "'perfectly' and 'flawed' should not be in the same sentence together"

its called an Oxymoron.
10 answers 10