I couldn't agree with Felicita more!
The vast majority of children, especially newborns, who are adopted are VERY wanted by their original families but for whatever reason their families are either unable (due to death, illness or some other catastrophic situation) or are convinced (by themselves - lack of proper support, or others - agencies, family, counselors, etc.) that they are unable to care for them because they do not meet societal "standards" to be parents (believing that marital status, age, financial difficulties, etc. somehow dictate someone's ability to parent and love their child). Rarely will you find a woman who truly does not want to raise her child. (And I daresay this is true for most FATHERS as well.) Most adoptions are not really "necessary" to provide a child a family - IMO, they are a result of a world in which people do not accept and assist one another the way we should.
You should know that adoption from foster care is low cost and in some cases free. I am personally disgusted that money ever comes into a discussion about adoption or choosing to parent. It is sick to me that human life, family, love, human relationships, etc. have EVER had a price tag placed on them - IMO, these things are PRICELESS. Anytime someone makes a profit from the arrangement of human relationships is illegal in EVERY other circumstance. (Prostituation, slavery, etc.) Relationships are absolutly with out monetary value in my eyes - they are worth FAR more than money. I find it horrid that people willingly participate in the practice of facilitating adoptions for profit and that we have allowed this to place a prices on our children.
As to children in foster care having issues that you feel unable to cope with, I feel that you are buying into an unfair and damaging stereotype. While there are some children who have severe issues as a result of their circumstances, MOST of these children are children who just need a loving and fit family to grow up in. (In this situation, "fit" implies acceptance and honesty among other things from the foster/adoptive family.) I also want to point out that you have no guarantees about biological children being "issue free"- unfortunately we haven't as much control over these things as we wish, biological children can be born with issues and suffer trauma at the hands of people other than their parents or situations out of their parent's control. Having worked with foster children for many years, I can assure you that MOST of them are not the "mess of problems" they are often seen as. They are CHILDREN, little human beings who have been though some traumas. (Aside from their original mistreatment - which sometimes is beyond the original family's control, state custody and foster care are traumatic, hence the plural...) These children often simply need love, stability, support and truth - all things that every person needs and every parent should provide. Patience, understanding, compassion, etc. - HUMAN CONNECTION, all the traits of a good parent are what it takes to be a foster-adoptive parent. (BTW, IMHO, these are also some of what it takes to be a good person...)
Don't eliminate the possibility of becoming a foster/adoptive parent just yet. Instead of listening to others (including me!) about what these children are like - why not get to know them for yourself. You can be a positive influence for kids in many other ways without being a foster parent. Volunteer. Be a Big Sister, become a GAL/CASA (Court Appointed Child Advocate), volunteer your time at your local YMCA, a group home, etc. You will learn more about our young people and YOURSELF than you ever thought possible!
As to your original question, I feel guilty not that I have had children, but that the world I brought them into is such a hot mess. It is my hope that I can make it a little better and they will follow my example.
I wish you the best of luck in deciding on how to build your family. You may wish to further research your options. There is no reason you couldn't add to you family in multiple ways, provided that you keep the intrests of the children first and foremost! :) As long as you give the best of yourself to your children and help them be good people in their own right, you are a good parent and should have no reason to feel guilty in my book!