Mae asked in HealthMen's Health · 1 decade ago

32 and have never had an orgasm during sex. Whats wrong?

Before I was married I had been with 3 guys and nothing, I've been with my husband 14yrs. and still nothing? I want to feel it and can't seem to get it. I'm not really sure what else I need to do, I don't feel normal anymore. Any Suggestions?

8 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best answer

    Most women can't orgasm with penetrative sex alone... they need some kind of stimulation of their clitoris because *that's* where their body's sexual pleasure organ is. (In fact, it has no other function at all but sexual pleasure and orgasm.)

    If you have orgasms when you masturbate, you should try to do (or have your man do) the things that get you there when you're alone.

    If you *don't* have them alone (or don't masturbate), there's no time like the present to learn how.

    Masturbation is having sex with the only person you'll ever meet who knows *exactly* what you feel and what you like, even if that changes every second.

    One thing you can do to find out is check out this webpage:

    http://www.coolnurse.com/masturbation_howto.htm

    Read the page all the way through, and try some of the things suggested (including the "extras" linked at the bottom). Take your time (it might take a whole afternoon the first time), and just enjoy learning what feels best for you... it's fun. Sooner or later, you'll have an orgasm, and they get better each time if you're one of those lucky girls who can have them again and again.

    It can take anywhere from a few seconds to a couple of hours to reach orgasm... both of these are unusual but normal, and anything in between is just fine.

    Just before orgasm, you might have a feeling a bit like you have to pee, but it's not quite the same, and when your orgasm first happens, there'll be a very strong (sometimes intense and *powerful*), warm and sometimes tingly feeling that spreads from your clitoris to your vagina and then through your whole lower body. Then very quickly your clitoris, your vagina, your crotch muscles and your butt-hole will squeeze and pulse a few times while that feeling spreads all over you.

    During all this, your toes will probably curl, you might feel like you need to hold your breath or like you have to breathe really fast, your body will want to tense up and might jerk or shake or shiver, and you might make some noises (grunts, gasps, groans or cries) that you can't really control. You might "squirt" or "ejaculate" a lot of fluid from your urethra (don't worry, it's not pee). The whole time, it's just about the best feeling there is.

    (Everything you "might" feel or do above isn't always going to happen... some orgasms are much less overwhelming than just *very* pleasureable.)

    As that feeling becomes more gentle and starts to go away (after maybe 5 to 20 seconds), your whole body will begin to relax, and you might feel sort of like having a nap... or like just lying there and letting your mind drift... or maybe like doing it again.

    It's not often, but it might happen that there'll be no interruption at all between orgasms, and it can feel like one single orgasm that lasts anywhere from 30 or 40 seconds to several minutes.

    Have fun and don't worry. Masturbating is normal and healthy, and learning what pleases you sexually is good for you... especially because you'll know what to tell your man about how to please you when you have sex.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you ever had an orgasm by masturbating then I'd say something might be wrong with the men in your life but if you've never had an orgasm period, then I'd try using a vibrator/dildo and see if you can't give yourself one. Once you have one then it'll be easier to have a second, and so on. Then work on it with your hubby. Some women never have one and that's very unfortunate since you're missing out on the greatest pleasure. My wife can have 10 or 12 in one night.

    P.S. Don't worry about that AIS crap. That's a chromosome abnormality and you'd know if you had anything like that by now.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You didn't say if you've tried clitoral stimulation or not. I've never had an orgasm thru penetration alone and many other women haven't either.

    If you haven't tried clitoral stimulation I highly recommend you try it yourself first, without your partner. That way you can experiment and see what you like before you tell or show him.

    It's really important to keep things lubricated as you touch yourself. I recommend you get a little KY. Get some on a couple of your fingers and start gently rubbing your clitoris. If it hurts at first don't rub right on it, just rub around it then as you go try rubbing it again. Experiment and see what feels best to you. Once you've been doing it a bit you can slide your fingers up inside yourself if you like but I wouldn't focus on penetration. Go back and forth, there's a fold that runs from your clitoris to your vagina - running a well lubricated finger along that fold is particularly nice.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    I orgasmed on my first time through vaginal penetration. It took me at least 10 minutes of him pumping, but with enough focus I managed to have one. It's all in your head..fantasies help while he's pumping, too. I almost thought I had to fake it because it was taking so long! Between you and me, orgasms through penetration don't feel as good as orgasms through stimulation of the clitoris.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You're hanging out with the wrong men! Now you married one

  • 1 decade ago

    You are hung up on something or you are with the wrong guys

  • Cobb
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    You could have AIS. See a doctor. If you don't know what AIS is, look it up on Search.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your real problem is that WE haven't met yet.

    RAWR! That pic of you is HOT

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