How to handle a situation where your mother attempts suicide? (kind of long)?
So, My mother is 50, I'm 32, I have 2 children (age 4 yrs and age 7 months). My mother has always been a very controlling and abusive (physically until I as age 17 and I made it clear that wouldn't happen anymore) and emotionally from early on, until present. She has been married 7 times, and in between those marriage lived with other guys. She is the type of person that has another man lined up (cheated on the person she was with). Well when I was 19 I moved off for a few years, later returning thinking maybe being gone for awhile, she would be able to focus on herself and get things straightened out. Well that didn't happen, she has lost it with me several times, yelling, cussing, throwing things, bowing up at me like she wants to hit me. She usually behaves this way when she thinks she doesn't have enough control over me OR if she is cheating on her husband. Things fell back into that old pattern, I realized that living close to her wasn't a good idea. My husband and our two children moved about 4 hours away, thinking this may help some. At 1st it was going ok, I got a little more of a break from her behavior, since I wasn't around her as much. Well in May, things went really bad. My mother got really jealous over my sister (half-sister, we have the same dad), my sister only lives like 15 minutes from me. One night my sister and I had a girls "in" night, movies and pizza, cells turned off, just hanging out. My mom found out that the reason I didn't answer her call, is because I had my phone shut off, and was watching a movie with my sister. She went off on me, saying that I should call her every day, because most daughters do, she said a lot of hurtful things. BUT the worst part of it was when she started attacking my parenting skills to my oldest, the accused me of abusing him, not feeding him, not having a bond with him, saying that I will cause him emotional issues. (which I have gone to great measures to make sure I don't treat my son anything like I was treated, luckily I take more after my dad 'easy going' 'laid back'). I told her that she needed to keep my kids out of it, because she is mad over a phone call, and they don't need to be brought into it. That just made it worse, she pretty much said the same things again. She said really hurtful and untrue things, because she was upset that I didn't call her back in the time frame she thought was appropriate. Then, she says "see ya, wouldn't want to be ya".. and attempts to kill herself on mothers day (also the day before my b-day). She wrote a letter, waited until her husband was almost home, took a bunch of pills. He found the letter, and her (saying crazy stuff).. so he called 911, the took her to the ER, pumped her stomach, and got the paper work ready for her to go to a mental hospital. I was torn on rather or not to go, because the call I got was from my step dad, and he couldn't or wouldn't tell me much. So I went up down there. I walk in the room she says.. "I've lived all these years for you, now i'm willing to go to hell for you".. I didn't respond I didn't know what to say. I just stood there, my husband turned and walked out, he just couldn't handle seeing her still trying to put everything on me.
Anyways, How does a person handle a situation like this? About a month after her attempt she asked if my kids could come for a week, I said no, but didn't really say why. She is my mom and I love her, but I just can't handle the emotional roll-coaster she likes to be on. Do you agree that I shouldn't allow my kids to go off with her? How much contact do I have with her? She never once said sorry for all the bad things she said. How does a person handle or deal with a mother that attempted to kill her self? I have opinions of my family and friends, but they are all close to the situation.. Just wanting some outside points of view..
Thanks for reading, and replying...