I want get a paternity test and my wife does not?

We have one little girl who I love but looks nothing like me or her mother. We had our daughter exactly 9 months after we meet and basically it came down to like the second time we had sex about 2 weeks after we met. I am scared to find out and I hope that she is my girl. My life revolves around my daughter and I have given up my life for her and I want to make sure. My wife hates that I ask, but I think she doesn't understand. My best friend just tried to have another child and found that he could not have children so he had his daughter tested and found that she was not his so that makes me wonder even more. Understand that I love my family but I want to know for sure it is my family. My question is what do I do?

Update:

My daughter looks a little like my wifes ex and I have been saying I want a test all along. I just don't understand why she is so upset if she has nothing to hide.

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best answer

    DNA test. You can try a non-legal test with just you and child (a take home test). It may give you a better idea of the situation.

    Your wife will not understand. For some reason women don't like us men getting DNA tests.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your FAMILY is what you've made it regardless what results say. Are you saying that If you found that this child was not yours you'd love her any less or look into her eyes and say daddy you can't love you because a test say your not mine, I think theirs a big issue with titles today(a name)It would be so much better if everyone could embrace individuals because they wanted to,and nevermind the title because you are all she knows .A child thinks this is my dad& didn't question you, You just were and that was title enough ,But I can't understand your questioning now,it sems you've had doubts then so, Why did you prolonged the situation? Now it sounds horrible( You deserve to know ) If she has nothing to hide she shouldn't have reason to object,being that you waited so long makes it sound as you looking for a way to Weisel yourself elsewhere. You married this woman and now you start to doubt her fidelity to you says wonders to a women or any person . It seems like a BIG issue to you,so it's a big problem for her,R you just doing this because of your friends incident or has this truly been a doubt for sometime

    Source(s): Something for you to think about, Best of luck in whatever you do
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I understand your need to know. I would too.

    Talk to your wife and let her know exactally how you feel.

    Also you should trust your wife.

    If you remember the date that you's would have conceived you can do an online pregnancy due date calculator that you can use from a few years ago and see if it's true. If you don't know how to do it then email me and I can help you.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you love your daughter then it doesn't matter. You are her father. You have probably been there for everything, including all her firsts. It may not be easy to live with, but just accept that it doesn't matter is she is or isn't. What would you do if you found out she wasn't yours? Would you just move out and act like you never met her? You need to ask yourself these questions, and you may decide for yourself that you don't need a test at all.

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  • If she is your life and you say she is your daughter then will that change if your dna does not match?

    Just because it happened so quick how she got pregnant does not make it not true that she is yours.

    You can get a dna test done though if you want, go to court and they will order it but when it comes out to be that she is yours i would say your girlfriend will NOT want to be with you at all. I know i would not want to be. Plus i can see why she is not wanting this, if i knew for sure who my kid belonged to and the daddy wanted a dna test done i would not want to go through that.

    Just because the kid does not look just you and her does not mean she does not belong to either one of you.

    All my sisters do not look like my daddy but our brother does, does that mean we don't belong to him?

    No it doesn't, do what you want but when it comes right down to it and it is proven that she is yours, you are going to feel like an idiot but then if it is proven that she isn't does that mean you will walk out of her life after she only knows you to be daddy?

  • 1 decade ago

    I know this sounds awful but you don't need your wife to get a paternity test. All you need is your dna and your daugters...if your matches her your the dad if it doesn't your not.

    You don't need your wifes dna and in some states you don't need her permission

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well if u love her like she is yours then it shouldnt matter if she is ur sperm or not but i understand completly y u would want to know but dont let it get to ur daughter i know u dont want to hurt her so just keep that in mind and good luck

  • fYi
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Honestly, if you know you're are going to be in that child's life, and be with your wife and be happy, I say don't get the test. If you really honestly think that if she's not yours it's not going to affect your feelings for her, don't fool yourself because it might. If you already gave up so much, and you love her so much, and you're married, what you don't know, can't hurt you.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Get a court order

  • You should go with your first instinct. Its there for a reason.

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