Sex before marriage ...?

In the bible, it says sex is wrong before marriage ..

as a christian .. does that mean i can't have sex before marriage ..?

or is it something that the modern day world has grown out of ..?

If i do decide to have sex before marriage, knowing that it's a sin .. do you think God will forgive me ?

what should i do ?

51 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best answer

    may I ask how old you are?

    In the bible it says sex is a sin and it should be saved for the man you marry.

    When I was younger (I'm only 23 now) I believed that I wanted to wait until I was married to have sex.

    Then I met my boyfriend now... I know deep in my heart that I have a future with him that includes marriage. I might sound stupid to some people but I know that I wouldn't have given it up to just anyone! he's the best man a woman could ever ask for! It was a gift for me to give him.

    These days I think it's all personal preference.

    I used to be a very religious christian... I still love God and pray and I have faith but I am a more spiritual person than a religious one now. That's why I had sex before marriage. I hope I don't go to hell one day... but I just have to pray I don't.

  • 1 decade ago

    In the times of the Patriarchs - (Abraham, Isaac and Jacob) - marriage as we know it did not exist.

    When the father decided it was time for his children to marry he consulted the others in the land and arranged for a meeting between the two children.

    If they slept together they were married. But there were witnesses that made sure that if the couple had problems that they would be able to work through it and remain faithful to each other.

    In the modern day the Church has created the marriage ceremony which is much like the way the patriarchs got together and arranged for the children to meet. Sex is the natural result if you want to have children.

    But if you have sex in this era without marriage - it is exrtremely risky! The other person could leave, or cheat and because there are no witnesses to keep him/her honest the risk of heartbreak is VERY high.

    What should you do? Read about Isaac and Rebecca and pray about it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    remember this , discipline and consequences are not erased by forgiveness.

    Yes, if you are truly repentent, God will forgive. If you go into this thinking, I will just repent afterwards, then you are not truly repentent and you are testing God- you are still accountable.

    You also open yourself up to the consequences- no matter how repentent you are - you will still deal with the consequences of emotional baggage, unhealthy soul ties, and the possibilities of STDs, unplanned pregnancy, etc.

    As for those that say God never said anything about sex outside of marriage, think of it this way- everyone is potentially someone's husband or wife.

    Think about how you will feel wondering about who your husband has been with before you and who he might be comparing you to. Bring purity to the marriage bed. I am sure your you do not want your future husband bringing other people into his bed and you do not want to bring other people to his bed.

    Wait until you are married and let sex be the fulfilment and expression of the love and commitment you have towards each other - it will make for a stronger marriage.

  • 4 years ago

    Basically marriage before sex is marrying your significant other then having sex. Sex before marriage is basically having sex before getting married to that person. Personally for me, I believe in sex before marriage, because I think if your in a committed & healthy relationship which will eventually lead into marriage then have sex all you want & it also depends on the maturity level of the relationship and how serious each person is about the relationship, but overall this is just my opinion.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If you're even asking about this, something is telling you that you should wait until marriage. Obviously, if you're going to question yourself and others on this, you're feeling guilty about the whole thing. Since you know it is a sin, you shouldn't do it, but God will forgive you if you choose to stray from him, then repent.

    Which, by the way, means ask for forgiveness.

    Best of luck in ur decision ♥

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Modern times doesnt change what the Bible says. I'm a Christian too and I made a promise to myself not to have sex before marrige and i know that's going to be hard to acheive. I'm sure God will forgive you if you truly ask for it but heres an easier thing to do....wait. Because on your wedding night your going to feel so proud of yourself that you kept your self a Virgin and now you can spend the rest of your life with your husband and have all the guilt free sex you want.

  • 1 decade ago

    that's like asking, in the bible is says not to kill people but is that something the modern world has grown out of? if you believe in the bible and in god than nothing he has commanded you to do is or ever will be out dated. If you do have sex before marriage he will forgive you but one day your parents will find out about it because everything you've done will be displayed to all to see and hear.

  • 1 decade ago

    Another question you could ask is murder a sin? And if you decided to do it, knowing it's a sin...do you think God would forgive you?

    If you confessed it and repented of it, yes, He says He would forgive you but you'd still have to deal with the consequences of knowing that you took a life.

    Think about this, there's a reason why God says not to do certain things. And that is because they don't bring forth life. They bring hurt, and pain, and destruction and even death. It's not about if we can "get away with stuff" - just do it and then apologize and repent and everything will be o.k. There's consequences to what we do. When you sow weed seed, weeds will grow in your garden. And weeds drain the good stuff out of the ground. Do you really want to sow weeds in your heart that will drain the life out of your soul? Do you want to deal with guilt? Why take that which is so precious and play around with it so carelessly?

    Sex is a beautiful thing that is meant to bring people closer together in marriage. To use it casually outside of marriage because it feels good is foolish, sinful, and being short-sighted.

    Have you ever heard anyone say, "I'm really glad I slept around before I married my spouse!" ? Or "I'm glad we didn't wait until our honeymoon." ? I haven't and there's a reason. There's a bonding that takes place, both physically and spiritually when people have sex. It's a healthy and good bonding but it's sacred and that's why God designed it and requires that it be done in the arena of marriage. (And He wants marriage folks to do it A LOT and enjoy it A LOT!!)

    If you opt out of His plan of sex in marriage, then you'll end up with not only a lot of guilt and regrets but part of you will be torn apart after that person leaves because part of you bonded with them. That's the way we're made and that's also why God hates divorce. He doesn't want our hearts broken up in slivers and strung out.

    You may also want to consider what wounding you be inflicting on the guy's heart, (not to mention your own), by sleeping with him outside of marriage.

    Sex is a serious business and it's a Holy thing that far too many people have taken way too lightly -like taking a rare jewel and treating it like cheap 25 cent toy from a vending machine.

  • MSB
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Read the Bible... do you think pre-marital sex is a sin? If not, don't worry about it.

    If so, then abstain.

    But don't be a hypocrite and have sex while believing it is wrong and then beg for forgiveness later when you're called on it. That's cowardice.

    If the Bible is your principle, and you believe it, live it... or don't. But don't try to get away with things like a child; take responsibility for your choices and actions.

  • 1 decade ago

    The bible says a lot of things are wrong which are manifestly not wrong. It is a very old, incoherent collection texts written by men in a patriarchal culture. Of course they wanted people, well, women anyway (read the sub text, many 'righteous' men were at it all the time) to remain virgins up to marriage, because that ensures the offspring are a result of the right tribal matching. It should not be used as a guide for living your life in the current age!

    Sin is purely a religious concept. There are right things to do and wrong things to do, good acts and bad acts, but develop a human conscience, don't let ancient sexist cults dictate to you!

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