If co-workers throw you a shower, are you supposed to invite them to the wedding?

This question was inspired by a another question I just saw. One of my bridesmaids is a co-worker. She told me she would like to throw me a shower at work. I only plan on inviting my boss and a few close friends to the wedding. Should I insist that she doesn't? I don't want to feel obligated to invite people just because they came to the shower.


Everyone on the floor in my office is friendly. We all say hi in passing and congratulate each other on major life events. It's like, I don't know you...but so and so said you’re engaged, congrats!

I know that if she invites people that I don't even know, they will attend the shower and bring gifts. It's just what everyone does...they come for the cake :o)

12 Answers

  • Sara K
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Best answer

    At my job we always have a "shower" for babies/weddings without the expectation of being invited to the event. However, these are very casual events. Whoever is "hosting" the shower brings in bagels, fruit, snacks and a cake to be consumed throughout the day. People bring in small gifts or chip in for larger ones. It promotes a nice work environment.

    I would not want my friend to do anything more than that for a work shower where co-workers are not invited. If this is not something your office regularly does, than I may tell a friend you appreciate the thought, but perhaps a cake left in the breakroom without a hooplah may be better.

  • 1 decade ago

    well.... I answered the other question so I will again here !!

    I have a co worker getting married, we are friendly with each other but not that close. I did not expect a wedding invitation and I am fine with that.

    well yesterday she ask me if i would come to her shower next week...in fact she asked everyone at work to come to her shower... and only one person is actually invited to the wedding..

    I was kinda shocked.. i been in alot of weddings and I have never seen this happening.. I have the feeling she was fishing for gifts or something.. and that is how most of us felt..

    we were going to have a cake for her and everyone was going to chip in a by her one present from all of us.. but now with the shower thing... I don't know..

    i would suggest to your co worker that it might not be a good idea.. I know it caused gossip were I work. Maybe a cake would be nice.. that way no one feels confused like us!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Oh that one is hard. I would say that you tell your bridesmaid thanks but I cannot invite all the co-workers to the wedding so no thanks.

    If she insists, tell her absolutely no gifts! Have her put something on the invite about NO GIFTS! If I was a co-worker and I realized that someone threw the bride a shower just for fun and not for gift, then didn't get an invite to the wedding I would probably understand.

  • 1 decade ago

    A shower thrown by coworkers is the one time you are not under any obligation to invite those in attendance to the wedding. They're doing this because they want to share in your happiness and they know they won't be able to attend. It would be rude of you to tell her that she can't throw it. It's not your decision to make whether there is a shower or not.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    You are under no obligation to invite anyone you do not want at your wedding.

    Someone giving you a present does not earn them a pass to your celebration. If your co-worker wants to throw you a shower, let her. If anyone expects to get invited because they thought they bought their way into it, let them know that you have limited space and are only inviting a small number of guests.

    Don't let them guilt their way into getting invited. People who expect they can argue their way into getting invited to a party have no class and have no business trying to crash your party.

  • 1 decade ago

    This is a woman thing but my neighbor just told me about this tonight in conversation..

    No, You guys spend enough time with each other everyday.

    Unless they've got unplanned events for the entire summer,

    everybody needs the weekend to just be free.

    Let everyone know it's going to be just a family and a few

    close relations before the shower..

    It's kind of two different levels of " things"

    Hope this helps... I'm learning everyday...

    Plus, I hope I'm right here...

    Source(s): Life....
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No, not at all. I'm a teacher and its very common for teachers to throw showers for each other at work but you don't always invite them to the wedding.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that you should ask her not to do this. You shouldn't solicit gifts from people who aren't invited to your wedding. Doing so would be as classless as someone trying to "crash your party". Even though your friend is throwing the shower, you still have some input.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yeah id tell your bridesmaid just to chill it with that one. Unless you dont mind receiving the presents... (nah jokes)

    I think people would be expecting the invitations to be handed out there and then.

    I'd tell her just to get a cake and cut it as a good luck on your honeymoon and see yah when you get back sorta thing

    p.s. plus you dont want to break the hearts of your secret admirers... talking from personal experience of course.


  • 1 decade ago

    haha i think you are talking about my question :)

    well i think if someone is throwing you a shower then you really have no say in who is invited so if she invites someone who is not invited to your wedding its not your fault. and people arn't going to be hurt if they barely know you but they like to feel like they are supporting you by getting you a gift and coming to the party.

    just my opinion

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.