Valentines day....kinda sad.....:(?
i know theres people out there who have no one for today....
but just one little Q.
i text my ex today saying happy valentines xxxx
he dumped me before xmas last year, saying he ahd fallen out of love with me.
and doesnt know why and i even asked what did i do wrong and he said nothing.
coz i still love him and i havent seen nor heard from him since, i thought i would text him, i didnt expect a text back but its been two hours....
we dated for 1 year and 8 months, was very close and was eachothers first, we did alot together, so my Q is do you think he is thinking about me today?
my heart says he will be back......:/
and im trying to move on and im going out with friends and that having fun, but he is always there on my mind...
what do you guys think me ex is doing?
BTW ( by the way) he isnt with anyone!!!
:/ and hasnt been with anyone since he left me.
- bill bLv 61 decade agoFavourite answer
You haven't seen nor heard from him since just before Christmas, but you know he hasn't seen anyone since then. That sounds a lot like you're getting information from other people. If he's smart, he hasn't let anyone you know know about his new girlfriend. Mostly because he knows you'd be asking... which you obviously are.
What do I think he's doing?
Having a Happy Valentine's Day with someone you (and your common friends) don't know.
- 1 decade ago
Considering you guys were together for that long. I am sure he must be thinking about you a little bit....I always wondered the same thing after my boyfriend and I split up. I was 16 when we split. I am now 21. There was not a day that went by that I didn't think about him during those 5 years. We were together for about 2 and a half years. When any holiday rolled around it was horrible. I always wanted him with me. I dated other guys and even got engaged to another guy but it just wasnt the same....Him and I are back together now. A lot has changed and this is our first valentines day together in 5 years! I missed him so much and things are going great! Turns out, he was thinking about me too. Perhaps your story will turn out like mine, maybe you will find an even greater guy! Whatever the case I DO feel your pain and wish you the very best! Happy Valentines Day!
- ♥♥ LOVE GURU ♥♥Lv 61 decade ago
It goes without saying that breakups are extremely diffecult to get over. They are emotionally straining and that's pretty much to be expected. I think what you're feeling is absolutely normal for this stage of the grieving process.
When we loose someone, we often pass through a grieving process. Grieving isn't just for a death, it's for any deep emotional loss.
Stages of Grief
- Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
- Anger (why is this happening to me?)
- Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
- Depression (I don't care anymore)
- Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)
People experience these stages in different ways, at different times and for different lengths of time. I'd say you are probably still in the denial stage mixed with some depression due to the holiday.
I'm not saying he isn't thinking of you, but he may not be and that's ok too. Sometimes we just need time to let go.
A good gauge of how long grieving a loss such as this is about half the time the relationship lasted. So if you were together for 20 months then it may take easily 10 months to move on. It may even take longer if you don't take positive steps to move on.
Some people get stuck in the depression area of grief and that can really drag things out.
The best thing you can do for yourself is stay single until you are ready. Don't rebound into anther relationship, because you'll only wind up hurting yourself and others. Rebounds rarely work out and are built on shakey emotional ground.
In the information age it's rather diffecult to ignore the temptation to view an ex's pictures online, read a myspace page or a send an email. Those things are just so easily accessable and thus are hard to avoid when you get an urge.
You often feel rewarded for doing those things, but then feel horrible afterwards.
One great thing you can do for yourself during this time is find hobbies, exercise, make new friends, join clubs, go to events, and build confidence. Confidence is knowing who you are and what you want. It is not what you are and what you can get, that's self-defeating. Confidence attracts confidence and will help you find someone new who's a better match for you.
You may discover during your search to discover who you are and what you want, that your ex wasn't as good a match as you once thought. That can really help the recovery process.
When you are each others first, the breakup can be even more diffecult to get over. In your case you were in a long-term relationship with your first. I was in a similar situation. My relationship with my first lasted over 5 and a half years and just destroyed me inside when it ended. I thought I'd never be able to move on. I did the sending greeting card things and was pretty much where you are now emotionally. It felt like a nightmere I couldn't wake u from. I would even get anxiety attacks and begin crying in public. It was pretty bad.
Time helped though. It's cliche to say that time heals all wounds, but it's true. You slowly, but surely get through it.
You are lucky to have had as good a relationship as you did with your first. Most people don't even have that. They feel cheated because it was supposed to be special and they got dumped soon after. At least for us lucky few we have good memories of it.
It's often those good memories that are hardest to let go. We may hold on tighter to those memories, then we do the person. Life is about creating new memories though. You'll create a lot of good memories in your lifetime.
Best of luck in life and love. :-)
- 1 decade ago
How can you be so sure that he's not seeing anyone if you havent seen him since you both broke up!!!! My advice is out of sight out of mind.... Ocupy your time with things that put a smile on your face of course hes thought about you but obviously not enough to call or text back just take these signs into consideration and do whats right for you!!!!
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- 1 decade ago
sometimes, relationships just don't work out. that's why some poeple get divorced, because they fall out of love with each other. i'm sorry you got disapointed, and are missing him. just realize that maybe, he is thinking about you today. maybe you won't get a text message back, but you obviously crossed his mind. if he wasn't thinking about you then, he's thinking about you now, trust me. i hope everything shines up from here, and have a happy valentine's day anyway. remember you don't need a guy to make your life perfect. and yesterday i heard a lquote, "your first love never forgets you, remember that".
- Anonymous1 decade ago
maybe be i trying to get over u, maybe he is not sure or maybe he doesnt want a relationship right now.... yer i know that feeling , for me though when valentines day hit i look for new love, if i dont find it am im alone i think of all my ex girlfriends..especially my 1st love, i miss her so much.....more then anything in my life...shes on my mind everyday every min..when i awake...dream..drive down the street..with a new girlfriend (liek if were not talking)...all teh time my heart is where she is...i love u Baby where ever u are
- 4 years ago
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/6Rtoy
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
- samantha21itLv 41 decade ago
He probably will think about you as this day brings many memory back in general.
Although I dont think its healthy to keep hoping he will be back.
The best thing would be if you could, is to move on, and forget about him(cause you deserve someone who really loves you as much as you love them).
But you need to be COMPLETELY over him until you can find someone else to love.
I know how you feel, but im sure you will find mr perfect soon.
- d_ranglerLv 41 decade ago
Maybe he turned gay? Doesn't really matter though, you all broke up and if he responds it just going to keep you hanging on anyways. I hope, for your sake, he doesn't. He was honest and let you go, yet you are still hovering, waiting for your moment to come? It is time move on. Go talk to a new guy, a better guy, and let both of you find happiness.
- 1 decade ago
If he really loved u, he would have made a move by now. If he said it is over, he meant it. U will get used to not being with him and will soon get over it. We parted ways with my ex over TWo years ago, i still think about her,- but I have to move on.