I'm with you, it is hard to keep the Xmas spirit when driving, and herding kids, wrangling presents and food all day.
My small family unit, Mom, Dad and I started finding buffets that were open on the holidays. Mom was too sick to cook, and I usually worked the week before, and until 11pm the night before, so my time was limited. A local chain hotel was good enough, it was filling, and it was Xmassy. We opened gifts at home. It worked for us, and it was a little more expensive than preparing the food at home, but worth it to us.
Couple things you could do about your situation, bite the bullet and go see the families, it's Xmas. Second is to do something like you did, host it yourself, go to a restaurant. Or consider doing the dinner yourself, ask for donated dishes to help you out.
Or third, opt out. Explain it is just one year, you and hubby want the holiday alone this year[I take it you do not have kids] and have special plans. You will make it up to everyone next year, by bringing extra food to each, or something.
Gee, really, you would think after they talked to you, they would have come up with the idea for one of them to host the other family and you, to cut out one step of the journey for you. It would not kill them for just one year. And they could help each other out with the food.
Can you see your way clear to host, and do the food? and call everyone back, and ask them?There are so many places now that will cook for you, and you pick it up, our groceries here all do this.
And the final suggestion, everyone take a turn at hosting, at least one round, to take the burden off of somebody each year. You could assign each family a special dish to bring [and be sure and specify that the dish has to have enough servings for everyone, boy, that one causes trouble if you don't make that rule in advance]. Our family did this, and everybody hated to come to Mom's house, it was the smallest, but it was once a year, and as I said, nobody was killed.
Good luck to you, Merry Xmas, hope something above helped.