Thank you for playing right into the misandrists hands. You should be so proud.
We need to build up this "nice guy" stereotype, so that misandrists can vilify men who treat them well just as much as they vilify men who don't. All men are pigs and if there's no evidence he's a pig, he's probably one of those terribly narcissistic "nice guys" who thinks he's entitled to sex.
And at the same time, it gives them a handy retort that immunizes them against any suggestion that perhaps their misandry might be rooted in the men they choose. Why should they have to acknowledge any part in that, after all?
Oh, I stand corrected. I obviously misunderstood. It's okay for a guy to BE nice, so long as he doesn't THINK he's nice. Gotcha.
Nice double-bind for any guy who doesn't want to internalize the misandry he's subjected to: if you THINK stereotypes about evil, sexist men don't apply to you, they probably DO. If you THINK you're nice to women, you probably AREN'T.
Great way to promote all men feeling ashamed to be men! I salute you! Well played!
Here's why I think this sort of stereotyping is dangerous. Please bear with me while I draw a parallel.
In the '60s a lot of whites marched side by side with blacks for civil rights. And a lot of white Americans supported the cause.
Were there some hypocrites? Sure. Were some of them really being condescending? Yes. Were some actually racist in subtler ways? Sure.
But we started making fun of the "great white liberal" and saying stuff like, "if you think you're not racist, you probably are." naturally, a lot of white people resented the heck out of this. And understandably so. And the issue of civil rights got a lot murkier.
Do you get what I'm saying?
BTW, these guys don't arrive at this "nice guy" thing in a vacuum.
1. Women often let a guy down easy with, "You're a nice guy, but I don't like you that way."
2. Women often do date, shall we say, not-so-nice guys.
The inference that "Women don't like nice guys they like..." is a faulty inference, but no more faulty than a lot of other inferences that people make. It is an UNDERSTANDABLE mistake to make.