Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Family driving me crazy?

My family is crazy. How do I set some limits between me and them when a) I live near them b) they sometimes threaten suicide if I don't do X--something they want c) they are used to being able to boss me around, and I am in the pattern of being taken advantage of. This is, for the record, a serious question. How do I push them away? I'm bad at this. Help!

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best answer

    You should get some professional counseling to help you deal with this, they sound really manipulative. I'd try to develop some hobbies or friendships not related to them, or simply write them a letter telling them you need a break for 3 months and dont speak to them. They won't really kill themselves, thats just them being dramatic, they are trying to make their issues yours by stressing you out. Take that drama and force them to deal with it by getting OUT of the situation. Then they'll have no choice but to grow up.

    Good luck dear! :)

    Source(s): Intervention on A&E, lol.
  • 1 decade ago

    Like you said you need to set limits (boundaries). We all live by them (speed limits, budgets, laws - you name it and we live by them). First even though you live nearby that doesn't mean they have unlimited access to you and your life. If they want to visit and you have other plans, simply say "Now is not a good time I have plans. I'll call you tomorrow to set something up." and then hang up. Make sure you keep the doors locked and don't give them keys (everyone deserves their privacy). If they call and it's not a good time repeat the same sentence as above. Threatening suicide is usually just a control tactic and won't really be done and they will stop threatening that when they see you don't respond (it will be hard on you but you must stick to your guns). If necessary when they threaten this say "Do you want me to contact the police so they can take you to the hospital for therapy?" or "Here's the number for the suicide help line - and then recite the number for them". Start with small baby steps and work yourself up to bigger and stronger boundaries. Make a list of the boundaries you want to set and the priority of the boundary/limit and use that to start. When you begin to cave in take a deep breath and say to yourself "I deserve this". (which you do). Good luck and God Bless.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Fortunately, I have only one family member that tries that. I just don't answer the phone. Answering your door is a little hard though. I would ask a lawyer or police officer about it. Suicide is pretty serious and could lead to homicide with you as the victim. Moving could be an option for your own protection. Wow, I thought it was bad with one member but your entire family?! Maybe if you're afraid to go to the police or lawyer you could try a local church and speak with a pastor, preacher etc. and find a good moral answer. I wish you the best. It's a shame because your family is supposed to be there for you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Wow! I am not sure what you should do except you seem to be right. It seems like they are crazy and you should keep away from them if you can.

    They do sound crazy. Maybe just start by screening your calls and avoiding them. Dont let them control your life. They wont commit suicide that is a game they are playing with your head. Dont believe it and save yourself.

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  • 1 decade ago

    For one, threatening suicide is just....wrong.......wrong wrong wrong.........second of all...depending on how crazy they are... it's not necessarily that you need to push them away, it's just that they need to learn that you have a life of your own as well.....try letting them know EXACTLY how you feel....have a nice, long chat. If they don't start to "change" then just distance yourself A LITTLE from them for a while. They'll get the point eventually....if not.....get counseling.

  • 1 decade ago

    This is a serious question if they are threatening suicide. You really need to take control of your life. I really doubt they will hurt themselves. My suggestion would be to take small steps in saying no to them and stick by your convictions As time progresses they will have to get used to your outlook and method of handling them. I know this is tough.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Do what i do ignore them and stay away, They know they can get a reaction out of you if they threaten suicide.

  • 1 decade ago

    They threaten SUICIDE?! Dude (ette), get to a counselor NOW and get support in getting these people out of your life! I'd move across country! They are sick!

    Good luck! :)

  • della
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    it is only a threat because they know you will do as they want you to do. stand your ground. tell them you have a life 2, you want to be able to do your own things. but you are still there for them. tell them you need space. the longer yo ucater to them, the longet this will go on. sorry, not trying to sound rude or mean

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Run from them! Let them do whatever they have to do! It is not your fault!

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