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Trinity asked in PetsDogs · 1 decade ago

How do you convince your husband or significant other to get rid his dogs???

They keep destroying everything, we keep having to fix things or replace things and we are in the middle of looking for a new place to live and having the hardest time finding a place that will accept dogs at all let alone 2 large dogs. I think it would be more responsible to just focus on taking care of ourselves and our kids (have 2 + 1 on the way) plus I would really like to be able to have a backyard that is not controlled by dogs and their mess and set it up for the kids and have it be clean.

I tried to give him an ultimatum - either you be alone and keep your dogs and find a new place to live by yourself or you get rid of them and keep me and the family together. That didn't go over so well.....

He thinks I'm cruel and heartless now!

Update:

Thank you all for answering- it is helpful to see from a different viewpoint I guess I am being heartless. However, I also want to clarify that he doesn't doesn't take care of them - they are 2 boy pit bulls, he won't allow me to get them fixed (I have offered to take them to get fixed many times) but I guess male thing he doesn't want them fixed. Plus he doesn't clean up the poop outside I clean up most of the time but now I'm pregnant. He's had 1 for a few years now which I am ok with but recently got a puppy even though I disagreed. Now they are constantly fighting and the puppy (now 1 yr old) has destroyed everything. It seems like now that there are 2 of them they are destroying everything so much more - the older dog never did anything like this before the puppy came along. And no matter how much I dislike them I still make sure they are taken care of, feed, clean, and have bones to chew on.

23 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favourite answer

    Someone who loves his pets is not going to take very kindly to "choose between your dogs or your family". You knew he had the dogs when you got together, right? If he does get rid of the dogs for you he will probably end up resenting you and that's not a situation you want. I have a dog and could not bear to give her up for anything.

    You did mention that the dogs destroy everything. It sounds possible that they are not very well trained and their disobedience makes them hard to live with. If the backyard is "controlled" by the dogs then what are they doing to make it that way? Dogs and kids are generally great companions and could definitely play together outside. Yes, dogs do poop in the backyard but it is not really a big deal to go out there and scoop it up in few seconds on a daily basis.

    Maybe you two should enroll the dogs in some sort of obedience training? It is work but would pay off if your family can have the dogs without your things being destroyed.

    The only way I would agree with you to get rid of the dogs is if they are aggressive to you or your children.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Using ultimatums never works. If he had the dogs when you first meet or were part of getting the dogs, then the dogs stay. If he doesn't want to get rid of the dogs then you must find a way to compromise. You should talk about putting a dog run in the back yard where the dogs can have their own space and will not be able to harm the other part of the yard. You can then set up an area for your kids. If the dogs are destroying things then it's time to discuss training, they are only doing what they have been allowed to do. You should both be willing to be responsible pet owners and make a place for your dogs as well as get them th training they need. You will all be happier in the long run.

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  • 1 decade ago

    That is a very rude ultimatum. How would you act if he said you have to pick between the kids and me, it is that level of love most people have for their pets. I am assuming that he either had the animals before you were a couple, or that he spends time with them that you think should be spent with you.

    Never make this ultimatum, it usually ends up in a divorce or at least very bad marital problems. Any ultimatum that causes you to dangle a relationship over the head of someone is just plain wrong and gives the other person the impression that you want out of the relationship.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I've been on the opposite end of this situation (minus the children). I had a boyfriend who told me to get rid of my dogs, he's now my ex. I found him to be heartless too, these were my babies. Why dont you focus on finding a solution rather than having him get rid of them totally? It sounds like you've had the dogs for a while, did you just start not to like them or have you always not liked them? He probably loves them as much as your kids. And he probably feels like you're forcing him to change a major part of himself.

    When you do find a new place, why don't you set up a dog run so that there's an area for the family and the dogs seperately and you can control when they're with you (so they dont ruin it for the kids).

    I hope you're able to work it out rather than having to threathen him with leaving :)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Giving him the ultimatum was certainly not the nicest way to approach the situation. Your husband probably loves these dogs as much as he loves your children. How would you like giving your kids up?

    I suggest either taking the dogs to an obedience class or hiring a trainer to come to your house to show you how to work with the dogs. Also, taking them for regular walks, to help release pent up energy may help. If they already go for walks, then maybe longer ones may be in order.

    It's not the dogs' fault that their behavior annoys you, they probably don't know any better. They need to be taught what is acceptable and what's not. That's up to the owners.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It is a big problem if he is not willing to get them fixed or train them. Because it is a dangerous situation if the dogs are fighting, you're going to come home one day and one of the dogs will be dead if not both of them. You need to tell him that if he loves his dogs then he needs to take care of them, because it doesn't sound like he loves them that much if just throws them in the backyard and lets you and the kids do all of the work. Of course its no big deal for him it doesn't sound like he is putting any work into this at all. Actually, just train the dogs and you and the kids will probably come to love them and just get rid of him. (just kidding)

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  • 1 decade ago

    The dogs need training so bad. You have to teach the dogs that you are alpha and they are not. Get on the internet and research this for free, or spend some money and get a trainer....The dogs are your family members and will be for life, so it is time to get educated and figure out what you can do, and belive me there is tons you can do to make these dogs viable family members, instead of "getting rid of them" God I hate t hate that term.. You can make it work, just put some effort into it. You will love the dogs and they will love you, belive me, it can happen.

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  • DP
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    They need more exercise and some training.. Maybe if you got more involved and spent time with them, worked with them some instead of hating them.. Things might be different. Why don't you try to get him more interested in getting them more exercise.. Why not walk the dogs as a family..

    I wouldn't get rid of my dogs for anyone.. An ultimatum like that isn't going to go over well with most people..

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  • 1 decade ago

    How about some obedience training? There's a good start. Plus clean up their mess from time to time, since dogs don't pick up their own waste. Would you expect your own babies to change their own nappies?

    Animals are for life. Not for whim or until it requires some effort.

    I hope when your kids misbehave you don't do the same thing.

    EDIT: If he's not looking after them, tell him either HE looks after them or you're calling animal control, cause not looking after one's animals is just criminal. If that's what he does to his beloved dogs, how is he treating his family?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    To start, you intimidated him with an ultimatum. That is never a very smart thing to do- period. You would not like that if he did that to you. Try to approach it gently!! You know the old saying you get more bears with honey than with the other way. If he really doesn't want to part with the dogs, why don't you suggest he put them in a kennel in the back yard? That way he is happy keeping them, you are happy getting your clean yard!! Sounds like a winner to me. Good Luck!!!

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