Has depression just ever consumed you?

Have you ever felt your brain turn completely off? Do you see the world black and white and muffled? Why cant I get out of this funk? What in the world is wrong with me? You ever just want to die? I have been terrified to take meds. I need help though. Please let me know what meds helped you and why. I want to have... show more Have you ever felt your brain turn completely off? Do you see the world black and white and muffled? Why cant I get out of this funk? What in the world is wrong with me? You ever just want to die? I have been terrified to take meds. I need help though. Please let me know what meds helped you and why. I want to have ore background on the meds before I see a dr.

I am posting htis in P&S becasue I never get an answer when I post in health sections.
Update: I know each med is like a key that turns off the depressed state in your brain. The trouble is finding the right key that fits. I can't even tell you the last time I really smiled or felt wanted. I feel my family dosent want me around and now my husband just flat out dosent want me.
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