kitty asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

My fiance's mother passed away.?

My fiance's mother passed away in his arms, she had aheart attack he was calling 911 and holding her at the same time, but it was too late. It's been three days now, poor baby is still crying. What can i do what can i say to make him feel better???

Update:

Yes i am muslim (islamicly we are married) but our wedding party was supposed to be 6months from now.

26 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Best answer

    There are no words that will console him, just stay close by, hold his hand if that is allowed, or just make sure he knows you are there for him. Bring him food and drink, make sure he sleeps and showers, etc. He will come out of it eventually. It's healthier to grieve and get it over with than to keep it in and pretend he doesn't feel it. You are a lucky woman. When he gets it back together I hope he loves you with as much passion.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You can't say anything. words actually hurt I think when one is grieving. But you can make him comfortable, help with funeral arrangements, be there when he needs a shoulder to cry on. Do all the things that are getting in the way of the grieving process - like clean his appartment, make sure that there is food - all the practical things and just make sure he knows you are there. After awhile you might like to suggest doing something to help celebrate this lady's death. But for the moment its all about being there. Look up some stuff on the internet about grieving so you can be aware of the stages. THere are 7 stages of grief. At the moment just knowing that you the person he loves is there and trying to help is comforting. He will also probably be in shock if the death was sudden and unexpected so keeping an eye out and making sure he is not alone and with people that love and support him is important. God bless

  • 1 decade ago

    Just hold him and be there for him. Let him talk when he wants to. Assist him with all of the preparations as much as possible, and step back when he doesn't want you to be as involved. Be considerate of the other family members and stay out of any squabbles that might start. If you get involved, they will end up forgiving each other down the line, but you will end up being the bad guy in the end if you do become involved.

  • Roxie
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Ok, this is a strange thing about relationships, but by giving him what he needs, you have a better chance of getting what you need. Here is what I mean: Right now he feels like he needs your support because he is going through an emotional tragedy. But instead of getting your support he feels like you are all wrapped up in the baby. You feel like your husband needs to get over his mom dying and focus on what he has now (you and the baby). Nobody is in the right or wrong here. Both of your feelings are legit, and you both are craving recognition of that. If you were to give him the support he needs, he would most likely want to return the gesture. The problem is it is seriously hard on ones pride when they feel like they are in the right to give into the other person and help them out. Seriously, do it anyway. I can almost guarantee you will get what you are looking for from him if you give him what he is looking for from you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Just be there for him...let him know he can lean you if he needs to. Other than standing by his side and giving him your love and support and grieving with him I don't know what you can say, every person grieves in their own way and sometimes there is no right thing to say, just being there and letting him talk about his feelings, and showing him you love him will help him.

  • 1 decade ago

    hold him be there for him and say nothing he will heal with time.

    My mother died half out of her house as she was trying to get help, we had a small argument the night before, It took me ages to get over my greif but I did eventually the pain of loosing someone like you mother never goes away it only lessens in time.

    give him lots of hugs, and be there when he needs to talk if there is no major imporvement in the next 6 months think of counselling.

    I am sorry for the loss you have suffered.

  • 1 decade ago

    You should reinforce the fact that your there for him when he needs you. This may also be a good time to Pray with him. Let him know that she may be in a better place now. Let him know that its going to take time but he will get through it with your help and the Lord by his side.

    God Bless

  • 1 decade ago

    Give him time to grieve. If he wants to be alone, let him be alone. If he wants to be held hold him. If he needs to talk about her, let him talk.

    Give him time to grieve. There are steps of grief. Denial, angery, blame,acceptence. He will go in and out of those phases. I cried a little bit for a year when my dad died. 14 years later I miss him so much!

  • 1 decade ago

    If this is a fiance based on islamic tradition, I am surprised that you would have a very close relationship with him. (Your name is arabic so I was assuming that you are muslim?) But if your families are close and it is acceptable, then you should offer whatever support you can to him and spend as much time with him as your parents will allow.

  • louie
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    let him be. some people need space - a lot of space - when something like that happens. send him or leave him a place where he can grieve and let him know what youre doing. tell him you'll be available- and go. come back in a few days. let him sort it out for awhile, THEN force support, or give support if he ASKS for it.

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