Subi asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

For Parents who smoked pot in the 60's + 70's?

Ok everybody has done things as teens and young adults that may not have been the best idea in hindsight but how do you handle the drug situation now if you have a young adult who is drinking illegally, occasionally alone, and possibly stealing it from work and smoking pot in the house when they think no one is paying attention and possibly other drugs? Works very part time and takes a few college classes but doesn't wake up in time to get there sometimes.

Do you back off and hope it's just a faze or do you take action and if so to what length? I ask because my significant other is going through this will their 19 year old and it is causing chaos in our house. There is also a 15 year old and 14 year old to consider.

He also tends to lie or say it's none of your business if you ask anything like where he is off to or details to a particular incident

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    time for hard love. he's 19...time to grow up and be a man. most at this age get into drugs and drinking to escape that very reality and to attempt to stay as a child.

    like a child learning to swim....sometimes you have to push them into the pool to get them started.

    push this one to the curb and make them realize the free trip is over, time to grow up, get a job, get an apt, go to school and act like a normal part of society. the free ride days are done, ended at 18 and graduation from hs.

  • 1 decade ago

    As soon as my children started middle school,I told them, that as a teen, I had smoked pot a few times, I didn't like it. It made me feel paranoid,[ which was true ]. I then informed them that I knew all the signs, of a pot smoker , They would not have a chance of getting away with it. I also told them a bout a former friend, who had once been smart, fun to hang with, but after he got into pot big time. His personality changed. He became lazy, boring, and dull. I felt sorry for him. He just turned into a nothing slacker. I don't think this just a faze, The 2 of you need to take action, Tell him if he lives under your roof, everthing is your business. At 19 he should either be in school full time, or work full time. A little of each leads to nothing.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sometimes the best thing to do is make him grow up. He is living in your home and it is your business especially if your paying the bills. Give him a set time that he has to find his own place and be out of the house. He will have to take responsibility and start paying his own bills. He is not a positive role model for the 2 younger children and could cause them to think his behavior is ok. Good luck to you I know raising kids now a days is a hard job even harder when you are just the significant other.

  • 1 decade ago

    I would try to talk to talk to him. Tell him the decisions he is making now will determine who he is and what he will have later. Tell him the mistakes you made at that age and how it negatively affected you. Point out all the opportunities he has and how you can help him with them. If that doesn't work remind him there are two younger children that will need your help soon. Let him know your resources and time are limited. Let him know if he is determined to work hard all his life for minimum wage he will need to get a job and get on with his life so you can prepare to help your other children.

    This is not a phase, he has laid down on you and thinks you will pay for an extended vacation. You need to bring him back to reality and show him how important collage years are.

    You also need to address peer pressures and the hazards of falling in with the wrong crowd. If you run with losers you are a looser. Ask him, are you a leader or a follower?

    You say this is your husbands son. If so your husband will need to be the one that talks to him. If you try he will only resent you for it. It needs to come from his Dad.

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  • 3 years ago

    nicely he sounds like a toddler in an grownup physique and has chosen an extremely undesirable highway he would possibly no longer get off of. he's 19 years previous...he's residing in his mothers and dads domicile and doing grownup issues that are undesirable and his physique of ideas and existence-type are affecting all individuals of the domicile negatively. he's out the door as quickly as he can %.. Take him to the closest protection stress recruiting workplace and desire that he gets lower back on objective. A 19yo who thinks like a baby, desires to do what ever he needs in a grown guy's physique won't ever study to guard a grown guy and he will finally end up with a depressing existence if he's not made to overview to guard the grownup via being an grownup. you notice....he's a baby attempting to guard a guy. it relatively is extremely very damaging habit. stable success.

  • Tiss
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    This person is an adult. He should be out on his own, if he is unwilling to live by the house rules. He is a bad influence on the younger kids. It sounds like he is not your child, so it isn't your place to tell him he has to go, but your s/o needs to be very clear with him. He needs to tell his son what will and will not be tolerated in your house. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    I very much agree with Tiss - there are younger children being badly influenced, so the 19-year old needs to be told to go by house rules or find another place to live.

  • 1 decade ago

    If he's 19 what is he still doing living there. Tell him it's time for him to be on his own and mean it. It's called TOUGH LOVE.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    A hard time to consider, and very diffuclt to maneuver, but love will find a way.

  • 1 decade ago

    Kick him out--that tends to make people grow up pretty quickly!

    Source(s): Mom of 4--an EXTREMELY troubled 15 year old;and 7,11,and 12 yr. olds.
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